


The Great Shipwreck Of Life

by DadIWriteGayPorn



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Accidental Confession, Age Difference, Alternate Scene, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Smut, Attempted foot job, Bedroom Sex, Bratting, Broken Bones, Broken Hiro Hamada, Brother/Brother Incest, Bulges, Communication, Consensual Underage Sex, Content approved by SCAR, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dirty Talk, Drunken Confession, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Dry Humping, Foot Jobs, Hamadacest - Freeform, M/M, Nudity, Porn With Plot, Pornography, Restraining, San Fransokyo (Big Hero 6), San Fransokyo Institute of Technology (Big Hero 6), Sexual Assault, Spit As Lube, Spit Kink, Stripping, Unhealthy Relationships, Vengeful tadashi hamada, Violence, Working things out, Yandere Tadashi Hamada, brat hiro hamada, brat taming, foreskin, hidashi, tadahiro, tadashiro, talking things out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:15:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22106932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DadIWriteGayPorn/pseuds/DadIWriteGayPorn
Summary: They had only just gotten home. Aunt Cass hadjustbailed Hiro and Tadashi out at the police station. And already Hiro was looking for another Bot Fight. Well Tadashi wasn't going to stand for it. He would keep Hiro home, no matter what it took.Smut AU of that one scene at the beginning of the BH6 movie. Hiro is super bratty and Tadashi, while caring, is at the end of his rope.
Relationships: Hiro Hamada/Tadashi Hamada
Comments: 44
Kudos: 249
Collections: Erotic Writers United Taboo, Fanfiction Writers United Taboo Collection, Hidashi Hamadacest and Tadahiro, Sin Corps, mMM yEAH, only brothers (until they weren't)





	1. Get Up, Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An impromptu fic for you all. Was originally gonna be a oneshot, but that's how the things go for me. It's been a while since I wrote for Hidashi, and even longer since I did something stand-alone for that ship. I got the idea for this at the end of December and started writing it on New Years'. Went faster than I'd expected at first, and Hiro turned out a lot brattier than I'd originally intended. I mean a **lot** brattier. Normally, despite it being underage incest, I write this pairing as fairly healthy. There's open communication, cutesy romance, and very clear love between them. In this fic, however, they're sex-driven, and thoroughly unhealthy (though not really abusive, just toxic). But I'm still really pleased with the end result. It's, in my opinion, VERY hot. Let me know what you think! I mean it, give me your comments, your reviews. All of them~

Hiro wasted no time at all in hopping on his computer and clicking on a bookmark that would take him to his favorite Bot-Fight locator site. He could hear his older brother, Tadashi, walk into their room after him, but the younger boy paid him no mind. Sure, he was grateful (if also a little miffed) to his brother for rescuing him, Just as he was grateful to their Aunt Cass for bailing them out at the police station when they'd been caught two hours before, after the _last_ Bot-Fight. But that didn't usually happen, and he couldn't pass up such a thrilling opportunity to make money. 

And that really was it. The _thrill!_ That's what brought him back to these fights time and time again. He got off on them, on the adrenaline, the rebellion. The fact that he was better than everyone else in the 'sport.' The fact that he was too young to be allowed, but they let him do it anyway. The fact that it was illegal. 

Surely it was natural, Hiro reasoned? He was at that age- 14- when he needed to act out. His hormones were going crazy and he had the need to rebel and do whatever he was good at, whatever gave him a pleasurable buzz that flowed through him, regardless of consequences. It wasn't like he needed the money he got from Bot-Fighting. Not really. Sure, it was useful with his front of robotics, but it had been a long while since he'd had a big project that needed funding. Taking the money from other people in was honestly better to him than the act of actually making the money. It was all about winning. Well, mostly. Just playing the game, beating everyone else, that would have been enough. But Bot-Fighting by itself wasn't illegal. Betting on it was. So that's where Hiro went. Everything circled back to the thrill for him. 

While Hiro utterly ignored his brother behind him, Tadashi couldn't help but eye his brother from the head of their room. They'd just gotten home from a long night involving Hiro hustling a Bot-Fighting gang leader, being saved from that leader by Tadashi, getting arrested, and then being bailed out by their Aunt Cass. And yet there he was, wide awake and tapping away at his computer, though Tadashi couldn't quite make out the monitor from his current vantage point. 

Hiro was clad in his usual ensemble. A T-shirt, red and black basketball shorts (due to the seasonal heat in San Fransokyo; it was impossible to get the boy anywhere near a real basketball), and his navy blue hoodie, worn more because of its comfort and security than any practical use. Much like the stuffed panda he slept with. Tadashi meanwhile was wearing blue jeans, work boots, and his SFIT shirt. His customary grey jacket and baseball cap had been hung up as soon as he'd walked into the house. 

Hiro hadn't even taken off his shoes upon walking into their flat, something customary for their family. That alone had piqued Tadashi's interest and made him follow Hiro upstairs, his boots still on as well. 

"You'd better make this up to Aunt Cass before she eats everything in the café." Tadashi's voice from behind Hiro drifted through the younger Hamada's hazy senses. Hiro gave the slightest of nods, still transfixed on the screen before him as he continually refreshed the page, hoping for a new fight to show up on the schedule and corresponding map.

"For sure...." He said in an empty voice, eyes glazed. He reloaded the page again and spotted a new red pin on the map, marking the location of a new fight. A small smirk lit Hiro's face for a moment before he gathered control of it and wiped the look from his features. 

"I'm serious, Hiro. You know how hard Cass works for us. The least you can do is go down and tell her how much it means. Maybe assure her it's not all for nothing?" Tadashi continued as he strolled up behind his little brother. 

Hiro whirled the chair around to face his brother, trying to block the computer screen with his head and chair back. "Absolutely!" Hiro's lips quirked up in an innocent smile. 

Tadashi saw right through the facade. He knew his baby brother too well to be fooled by such false innocence. And sure enough, as Tadashi peered pensively to Hiro's left he caught a snippet of the boy's computer screen, where a portion of a San Fransokyo map was visible. 

"You're going Bot-Fighting, aren't you?!" 

Hiro gave up the game immediately, the _nerve!_

"There's a fight across town," the young teen lept lightly up out of his computer chair, nonchalance in his voice as he strolled over to his work table to pick up his bot and controller. "If I book I can still make it." He shrugged and walked past Tadashi like it didn't matter. 

"Unbelievable," Tadashi said in a disappointed and disbelieving voice. "Hiro, you're my brother and I love you, but you're a serious brat, you know that? Did you forget what happened tonight?! You were about to be pounded into the pavement by Yama and his gang. You barely got out, and only made it because I saved you! And we _still_ ended up arrested."

Hiro shrugged again. "Hey, that's on you. I know the back way out of all the fight locations. You're the one who drove us right into the handcuffs." 

Tadashi set his shoulders back, bristling with anger at his brother's ignorance and arrogance. "Are you **seriously** blaming me for us getting arrested when you were the one who snuck to an illegal Bot-Fight?! This after I saved your ass?!" 

"I just call it like I see it. Come on, 'Dashi, Yama was probably just gonna take my money, scare me a little, maybe try to steal my bot, which would have been useless since the controller is coded to my fingerprints. But it'd take a lot more than being hustled in a fight to make him mad enough to actually hurt a kid. I would've been fine."

"And you know that for a fact how, exactly?" Tadashi crossed his arms and drummed his fingers on his biceps. 

Hiro rolled his eyes and scuffed his feet impatiently. "What, you think I decide to hustle random strangers and act on the impulse immediately? Come on, Tadashi, give me more credit than that. I graduated at thirteen last year. I'm not an idiot. I've been shadowing him at fights for a month now, getting an idea on him and twelve other fighters." Hiro gave a self-satisfied smirk. 

"Alright, but don't you think being arrested because of you will make him angry enough to beat up a kid? What if he shows up to that Bot-Fight you're in such a hurry to get to?"

"Isn't he still in a cell?" 

"Oh, geez," Tadashi rubbed his eyes disbelievingly. "For someone who claims to be smart, you can sure be really stupid sometimes. If we can get bailed out for Bot-Fighting by Aunt Cass then surely Yama can too. Or at least some of his men. And if he's holding a grudge he'll be looking for you. And where will he go to get info on that cute little scrawny kid who beat his bot and got him arrested? Gee, I dunno, maybe a freaking Bot-Fight?!" Tadashi threw his hands up in exasperation. 

For one short moment, the smirk was wiped off Hiro's face to be replaced with a look of dawning comprehension, and Tadashi thought he'd won. But the look was quickly swept away in lieu of more nonchalance. 

"Hey, I'm quick, small... I could lose them, easy!" Hiro made to skirt around his older brother, but Tadashi shot out a firm hand and grabbed Hiro by the wrist, jerking him back. 

"Why the hell are you so eager to do this? Surely the risks outweigh any reward. I don't even see what the reward is for you if you're okay with Yama taking your money and your bot when he throws a fit." 

"You really wouldn't understand," Hiro's whole demeanor darkened and he yanked his arm away, looking crossly up at his brother. He made to edge around Tadashi again, but the other boy slid cleanly in front of him, blocking the younger's way a second time. 

"Then explain it to me. _Make_ me understand." 

Hiro swore under his breath and crossed his arms awkwardly, still holding his bot and its controller. "Fine, you wanna understand? Then I'll try. I'm good at it, 'Dashi. Really good at it."

"You're good at everything, though," Tadashi cut in. "Well, everything but organized sports."

"AND," Hiro rolled his eyes again, "and it's so much fun, 'Dashi!" He spoke with captivated fervor. "I mean it. It's always the most alive I feel! The thrill, the threat, the rush! I know I shouldn't feel that way, but knowing that just makes me feel it more." 

Tadashi felt an uneasy stirring in his gut at Hiro's words. One he tried his best to ignore and push down while he focused on Hiro's problem. 

"Come on, Hiro," his voice softened, as did his face. Tadashi relaxed his shoulders and looked his brother in the eye. "You just said it yourself. You know you shouldn't feel that way. You know it's wrong. So just stop. It's better that way. No good can come of it otherwise."

Hiro sighed and looked away. "I told you that you wouldn't understand." 

But that was as far from the truth as it could be. Tadashi understood better than Hiro could possibly know. He'd found himself facing an impossible situation last year when Hiro began to move into puberty. Of course, Hiro denied profusely that he was in puberty whenever the subject came up. But he'd started getting taller, needier and yet somehow simultaneously more detached. He'd begun spending more time under his covers and in the bathroom, usually with a phone or laptop and an auto-clearing search history. And he'd gotten _cuter._ The childish messy black hair and gap-toothed smile paired with a growing physique and teenage behavior had piqued Tadashi's interest early on and made him feel things he'd never felt for another person before. Made him want to **do** things with Hiro he'd never done with another person before. 

And these feelings had scared Tadashi. The sheer wrongness. Hiro was fourteen, thirteen then, and his brother. But that fear, the understanding of the perversion only emboldened the feelings he had. It had gotten so bad that shortly after Hiro's 14th birthday when Tadashi had accidentally walked in on his little brother changing, he had dashed off to the bathroom to masturbate. 

He hadn't actually seen much. Hiro had been in his underwear (tighty whities). But it was enough. Tadashi had gotten so close to cumming, too! With his eyes closed as he first held the image of his mostly naked brother, bent over, in his head. But quickly that image had changed to a scene of Tadashi walking up behind Hiro, slipping a hand down the back of his underwear. Feeling the soft, plump cheeks in his grip. 

Yes, he'd come within a hair's breadth of shooting his spunk all over himself at those thoughts. It would have been the first time he'd let the fantasy progress that far. But something stopped him, held him back. A strong sense of brotherhood and impropriety. The image of Hiro's wide, loving brown eyes was as much a barrier to Tadashi as it was an aphrodisiac. He couldn't bring himself to do it when Hiro was clueless, consentless, and had to remain so. 

"Look, 'Dashi, I'm going out and you can't stop me." Hiro strolled purposefully around his brother, heading for the door. "One way or another, sometime tonight, I'm getting out. It might as well be now, save us both the trouble." 

Anger flared inside Tadashi again, wiping away his unsolicited fantasy in a second. He whirled around and darted forward, wrapping his well-muscled arms around the much smaller boy and holding him tight. Tadashi lifted Hiro off the ground with ease, gritting his teeth. 

"H-HEY! Let me go! Tadashi! Put me down!" Hiro flailed his legs around uselessly. He managed to land a couple of good kicks against his brother's shins, but Tadashi just hissed softly and held on tighter. 

"Drop the bot and the controller, Hiro," Tadashi kept his voice steady, even as the boy in his arms struggled.

"Bite me!" Hiro snapped. 

Tadashi sighed. "Say what you like. But I care about you, Hiro. In deeper ways than you think. I'm not going to let you leave tonight. You could land yourself in the hospital, or worse. So I'll make you a deal. You do as I say, and I won't tell Aunt Cass you tried to go to another Bot-Fight not five seconds after walking in the door tonight. Now, drop the bot!"

Hiro glared down but dropped his bot and the controller, aiming for Tadashi's feet. They clattered uselessly off his steel-toed work boots. 

"You can't hold me like this all night, Tadashi," Hiro growled with venomous animosity. 

"We'll see." Tadashi carried Hiro over to the nearest bed- his own- and flung Hiro onto it, then quickly pounced atop the boy before he could get his bearings, pinning his arms above his head by the wrist. "I don't even need to hold you all night. Just long enough that you miss the fight. An hour should do it, just to be sure." 

Hiro fumed and whined out, still trying to squirm. His face was against Tadashi's bedding and he could _smell_ Tadashi in it. The scent, a manly one of cologne, grease, and cut wood mixed with fabric softener, only emboldened Hiro's struggles. But with Tadashi holding his arms down and pinning his legs, his abdomen was all that would move. It pressed up and rolled against Tadashi's crotch, rubbing softly yet insistently. Tadashi's mind snapped onto this. 

"You c-can't keep me from going out every night, asshole!" Hiro shot at a brother who was no longer putting his full focus on him. "This is useless!" 

Tadashi shook his head, trying to clear it as Hiro's hips lowered again. "I can take this one day at a time, Hiro. You're right, I can't stop you every night. But when I can, I will."

Hiro growled again and tried to buck his hips backward, ramming his butt into Tadashi's groin in the hopes of setting off the sensitive area to slacken his brother's grip enough for him to worm free. It didn't exactly go as planned. There wasn't enough room between their hot bodies for Hiro to gather the momentum needed for his desired outcome. His ass just ended up rubbing more firmly on his brother's crotch instead of hitting against it. 

"A-aahh!" 

The sound slipped out before Tadashi could swallow it. He would have clapped a hand over his mouth if they weren't both busy restraining Hiro. Some small, hopeful, practical part of him had known this course of action would lead to this, to Hiro rubbing against him in a compromising fashion. He should have been more prepared. He'd daydreamed (and sometimes actually dreamed) about this all the time. Hiro below him, his perfect ass rubbing on Tadashi, both of them groaning. The difference was in those dreams they were both naked, and Hiro was happy. He'd always shut it down before he could go past the point of no return, though. 

Tadashi prayed that Hiro hadn't heard his pleasurable gasp. That the boy had been too busy struggling or was too angry for the sound to register. But despite his arrogance, Hiro hadn't been lying about how smart he was. He heard the gasp and felt a shake start up in Tadashi's body when his rear pushed against his brother's groin, and put two and two together in an instant. Though he didn't yet realize how Tadashi felt about him, Hiro did understand that he could exploit the sensitivity of Tadashi's crotch to his advantage with pleasure rather than pain. _The carrot over the stick~_

He rolled his hips back slowly, teasing at his brother's crotch with his ass. Tadashi knew instantly that Hiro was onto him, but that did nothing to stop his mind from jumping straight into his forbidden fantasy. 

Tadashi closed his eyes and let Hiro tease him. He couldn't help it. He might be nearly 19, but he was just as hormonal as he had been at Hiro's age, having never had a proper outlet or release for his desires, his sex drive. The teen imagined himself fully naked, thrusting his prodigious hard-on between Hiro's thick cheeks and into his fine form. He began to get stiff. The process moved quickly. In fact, he got hard much faster than usual. Fantasy was one thing, but Hiro was _actually_ rubbing on him now. This was different. This was real. 

As his cock hardened Tadashi moaned aloud and began to dry hump against his little brother. _God... He's practically five years younger than me! He's my brother! But he's perfect. A real brat, but I love him. He's unbelievably sexy, too..._ Tadashi gave another needy groan. 

"Mmnnaaahh~"

Hiro's eyes went wide. _H-holy shit! That sound... What am I doing?_ But he continued to push his abdomen back, letting Tadashi hump against him. Soon enough he could feel Tadashi's erection against him, even through their clothes. _Oh my God! I'm giving my big brother a boner!_ Hiro's face flushed hotly, and for a moment his head swam. 

He expected to feel disgusted. With himself or with his brother, he wasn't sure. He only knew that was the proper, expected response. What he didn't expect was a familiar throb and jump in his heart. One he got whenever he snuck out to Bot-Fight! It was that same thrill, that rush of adrenaline at knowing he was doing something wrong. At knowing he was **good** at doing something wrong. Only this feeling was far stronger than any Bot-Fight he'd ever been in. He wanted more. 

"T-Tadasssshhhiiiii!" Hiro whined out needily. The young boy focused on the feel of Tadashi's cock rubbing at his butt. He felt himself start to stiffen down below, too. 

Tadashi shook his head and his grip on Hiro's wrists softened. "N-no... No!" He slowly stopped humping, leaving them both still save for their heaving chests. "I-I can't, Hiro... I'm so sorry! I love you more than anything, but I'm just as likely to lose you like this as I am letting you go...." 

"Tadashi, you jackass!" Hiro tried to shoot a glare over his shoulder. "You stumbled onto the one thing that will make me stay willingly and you're chickening out after initiating it!?"

"I... I don't... What?" Tadashi blubbered down at his brother. Hiro's face was pressed into the bedding, his back curving upward so his ass could press against his brother. And though Tadashi couldn't see it, Hiro was remarkably hard, slit leaking just as much precum as Tadashi was. 

"Let me go," Hiro said in a trembling voice. He could hardly believe what he was saying, what he was feeling. But now that he'd started he had no real desire to stop. Quite the opposite, in fact. He wanted to push it over the line. "Get up and fuck me. As long as you're inside me, I won't try to get to that Bot-Fight. That's the new deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry to end it there, right before the good stuff. Originally this was going to be one chapter, setup and smut. And then the setup took several thousand words. So I split it up into three chapters, one for setup and the others containing the smut. But the combination of writing chapter two and reading another incredible Hidashi fic (Unplanned Events by RandomJaz), I started to see the possibilities in continuing this one. I got ideas for more chapters, character development, small ways to lead Hiro and Tadashi into a healthier relationship. So while for now you just have this one chapter (soon to be more), this will grow into a full fanfic.
> 
> I also went ahead and tagged things from the next two chapters because they're already written and will be coming soon, and I'd probably forget to tag them
> 
> Chapter title inspiration- '4⁰' by TOOL


	2. Free Yourself From Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! Thank you for your patience with it, I know this took a while to get out, even though I'm posting this early. It's a LOT more NSFW than the first chapter. . . . . . .

"Am... Am I dreaming again?" Tadashi asked, sounding strained, like he was barely holding back from ravaging Hiro. He could still feel his little brother's ass curving up beneath him to rub softly on his crotch. 

"What?! Dream? You've dreamed about this before?" Hiro raised an eyebrow. "You pervert, you wanted to fuck your own little brother?!" 

"You just told me to!" Tadashi exclaimed, flushing furiously. "You said you wanted me to fuck you!" Hiro shrugged. 

"Still do. But that's heat of the moment, you big tease, not an established fantasy."

"Will you shut the hell up about it and just establish if I'm dreaming or not?"

"Tadashi, I swear to the Gods if you don't take off my clothes and then yours and fuck me into the bedding, I'm gonna cry. This isn't a dream, but if you don't hurry up all you'll be left with is one." Hiro lowered his ass off of Tadashi's groin to press his point. 

Tadashi didn't wait a second longer to get things started. All that had held him back thus far from both completing his fantasy and enacting it outside of his own mind was the desire for Hiro's consent, for his little brother to agree to have sex with him. And Hiro's consent was something Tadashi never expected to receive, much less his enthusiasm too! Well, if bratty demands counted as enthusiasm. The older Hamada rolled off of the younger, his muscles tense as he prepared to pounce back atop Hiro in a second should this turn out to be a ruse. But Hiro just stretched and kicked off his shoes, remaining in the same spot on the bed. 

"Relax, Tadashi," Hiro said as he looked over at his brother. "I'm not going anywhere. A deal is a deal. And I'm fourteen. All hormonal and stuff. You really think I'd turn away the opportunity to have sex?"

Tadashi blushed and sat up, crossing one leg over the other so he could untie his boots. "Well, we **are** brothers. Real brothers, none of that 'step' stuff you see on porn sites. That tends to be a turn-off for most people." He switched to the other foot as the first shoe fell to the floor beside his bed. 

"Well I'm finding now that for me it's more of an aphrodisiac," Hiro smirked and ground his crotch slowly against the bed in anticipation. The movement really made his butt stand out, two wonderful curved cheeks perfectly portrayed under his shorts. "But hey, weren't you just preaching to me about how I shouldn't do things I know are wrong just because I like them?" 

Tadashi shook his head and dropped the other boot. He turned back to face his brother, eyebrows scrunched with confliction. "Hiro, I don't want to do this because we're brothers. That's all you. I want to do this because I'm attracted to _you._ To who you are, what you're like, how you look. I want to do this with you because I have feelings for you, not for what you represent in my life, and certainly not just for the thrill." 

Hiro shrugged. "Excuses. My point is still valid." His tone dropped a bit, seriousness taking hold. "I do love you, though, 'Dashi. I hope you know that. But until now I haven't been attracted to you for you. Not like you've been attracted to me. You're really hot, there's no denying, and honestly totally my type. I don't know why I never considered this before. But I have to be honest. I want you to fuck me because the fact that you're my brother turns me on. But hey, we're going in circles. Too much talking and we'll never get to play!" Hiro wiggled his eyebrows and made solid eye-contact with Tadashi. 

Tadashi bit his lip, considering. All that had stood in his way was the want for consent. But he now had to decide if that was truly enough. If it was okay to fuck Hiro even when Hiro didn't love him romantically. 

_Did I ever really expect anything else, though? Hell, I never even expected this much. Wanted it, sure, but never expected. It's not like we can have any sort of public relationship beyond platonic and brotherly. But if sex isn't enough, is there even a possibility for that kind of love?_ Tadashi grit his teeth together, heart fighting against cock, licentious lust against lonely longing. 

Tadashi's dick decided for him. This may not result in the kind of relationship he wanted with his brother, not at first, but it was still a leap in the right direction. He'd spent too long picturing Hiro naked, even if he'd held himself back from cumming to the image. But Tadashi needed to have that release now. To let the picture in his head become reality. He was finally allowed to look at Hiro's butt for as long as he wanted, to play with it and more. And Hiro was watching him do it, **telling** him to do it. _He's gonna let me do whatever I want. . . All those incomplete daydreams can finally have a happy ending. I can't turn this down. And that ass... It's fantastic! And it isn't even out yet._

Tadashi cleared his throat and crept forward back onto the bed. "Do you wanna strip yourself or should I?"

Hiro considered for a moment, head cocked. "You should do it, 'Dashi. I'm sure there'll be plenty of times later where I can give you a striptease. But for this first time together- my first time at all- you should go at your own pace." The truth was, he wanted his brother to tear all his clothes away animalistically. But he also didn't want to go too fast and scare Tadashi away. Not when things were going so well. 

"You seem confident," Tadashi remarked, but he leaned forward to rub a hand softly against the boy's lower back nonetheless. At first his hand trembled with nervous trepidation, and he barely even registered the feel of Hiro on his fingers. But the shock soon faded, and Tadashi hitched up Hiro's shirt a bit so he could rub on pale, unblemished flesh just barely above his brother's ass. 

"Why shouldn't I be? I don't see any reason why this would be a one-time deal. Do you?" Hiro shivered a little at Tadashi's touch and remained as hard as ever. He couldn't help but clench and unclench his gut, which also clenched and unclenched some of the muscles in his butt. And as the boy's rear was outlined tightly by his basketball shorts Tadashi got the full show.

And Tadashi couldn't help but beam at his brother's words! Sure, he was only suggesting more sex (before they'd even actually engaged in any) and not the sort of relationship he wanted, but there was nothing wrong with that, right? _Or maybe I'm letting my arousal get the better of my feelings?_

"I know I'll never forget this," Tadashi caressed his younger brother's skin again before moving on at last.

Hiro expected Tadashi's hands to move down, to slip beneath his shorts and get at the good bits. But to his surprise his older brother shifted them upwards instead and pushed up his shirt. 

"A little help with this one would be appreciated, bro." 

"O-okay, T-Tadashi!" Hiro's voice betrayed him, coming out much shakier than he'd meant. Evidently he wasn't as cool and collected as he'd been trying to seem. 

Hiro eased himself up onto his knees just briefly and raised his arms over his head to let Tadashi remove his jacket and t-shirt. As his arms were stretched out above him the boy's spine arced backwards making the sheer boyishness of his figure, accented with slight feminine aspects, pop. Tadashi didn't dare breathe until they'd freed Hiro from his tops. The clothing was cast haphazardly onto the floor, an anomaly with Tadashi, who was usually an enforcer of their bedroom's cleanliness and organization. For just a couple of seconds before Hiro lay back down on his belly, Tadashi could see his full figure. So much soft and unblemished skin with only light-colored peach fuzz to speak of hair-wise. Curved hips that were just shy of feminine. Perfectly round yet small nipples with nubs that Tadashi longed to nibble on. And the tent in the front of Hiro's shorts, the first time Tadashi had come close to seeing that part of Hiro since they were kids. It was all perfect! 

And then Hiro laid back down, rolling onto his side seductively and pulling Tadashi out of his unabashed captivation. There was only one more thing left to remove. Tadashi could tell by the size and positioning of Hiro's pants tent that the boy wasn't wearing underwear. A bad habit formed only in the last few months, created by a mixture of laziness and an attempt to offset some of the heat that came from wearing a jacket in the summer. 

Normally Tadashi would have scolded Hiro for this (while fantasizing internally... Does it count as a real scolding if you're secretly hoping it happens again?) but now he found it inordinately arousing and was ready to kiss Hiro for disregarding his earlier talks. He wanted so badly to rip this final article of clothing off with as much ferocious efficiency as possible. But Tadashi held back. The desire to prolong this engagement and sear every moment into his memory outmatched the more primal urge. So he started with a single, gentle outstretched hand. 

It came to rest on his brother's right cheek. He rubbed it softly, alternating between slower rubs and quicker ones, loving how the cheek jiggled beneath his grasp. He gave a gentle push, easing his brother back onto his stomach. Hiro rested his for head into the crook of his elbow and buried his face into the bedding, sighing and groaning. For all his attitude this was still his very first sexual experience with someone else, and it was immensely impactful to him. His resolve and desire stayed strong, as did his enjoyment, but the teen was still shaken to his core by just these few touches. Hiro knew he would get used to and over it, but for now there wasn't a single part of him that felt numb or tired. Nothing was desensitized. It was exactly the way he'd been hoping to feel, just on a bigger scale. 

"You like that?" Tadashi asked, feeling emboldened by his brother's reaction. The fourteen-year-old nodded once and pressed his hips up, squishing his ass against Tadashi's hand. 

"Moooorreeee!" 

The word came long and muffled, its call irresistible. Tadashi complied, albeit slowly. 

"You want me to touch you under these shorts? To play with you, _little brother?_ " Tadashi added an emphasis, knowing Hiro was getting off on the incest. He would have found that concerning were he not horny as all hell, too. _It's not really like I can judge him._

"Yes, 'Dashi! Bro... Please, I need this!" 

"You didn't five minutes ago," Tadashi teased as he hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of Hiro's basketball shorts. It was as he'd expected; the boy wasn't wearing any underwear. 

"Like you've never gotten horny out of nowhere," Hiro sneered, raising his head up. "And this wasn't even out of nowhere. You humped your hard-on against my ass!" 

"Hiro," Tadashi raised an eyebrow, both annoyed with his brother and sensitive to the subject brought up, "stop being such a little brat before you kill the mood." His tone was dangerously calm and serious. His _just try and test me_ voice that he normally saved for car trips and when Hiro was up to general mischief. Hiro had learned as a little kid not to cross Tadashi when he invoked that voice, and it had been several years since he'd had to. But the punishments from back then had been things like time-outs, or taking away dessert. Hiro had no idea what would happen today if he crossed Tadashi, especially in this context. So he closed his mouth and set his head back down, letting his brother do his work. 

"Thank you," Tadashi said before cocking his head to the side, a small grin growing on his face. " _Good boy~_ "

Hiro flushed furiously and his dick became as hard as it was possible to be. Though most of his face was concealed, Tadashi could still see the back of Hiro's neck growing red. Tadashi relished in the effect that just a couple of words had on Hiro. That **he** had on Hiro. 

The older Hamada started to tug down Hiro's shorts. He held his breath as they rolled slowly off Hiro's butt, watching full cheeks come into view. Hiro groaned into Tadashi's bedding, a low shiver starting up as he felt himself being laid bare. 

The second Hiro's shorts were pulled all the way below his ass, Tadashi threw all his caution and slow care to the wind. He tore them the rest of the way down Hiro's legs and tossed them uncaringly to the side, leaving his baby brother completely naked. 

But Tadashi wasn't done. And despite his newfound eagerness he wouldn't let himself take everything in until he had taken this too far to turn back. His worst nightmare wasn't getting caught, or for this to never happen, but rather to initiate things with Hiro only to have it taken away from him before anything proper could come of it. He rose to his feet beside the bed, turning so his back was to Hiro. The boy lifted his head again and peered pensively with heavily lidded eyes at his brother. 

"T-Tadashi? What's...?" 

"Shhhhh, it's alright, otōto. I'm just getting ready." 

"Tadashi... I'm cold!" Hiro shivered again, goosebumps rising all over himself. Though truth be told they came from a place of nervous anticipation as much as from the cool air of their bedroom. 

Tadashi ignored him and began to pull off his SFIT t-shirt. Hiro fell silent again and sat up more, opening his eyes wider to take in the sight of his brother's toned back being revealed. 

Tadashi had always been a nerd. One of the biggest, in fact. But that didn't stop him from also being manly. He ran in the mornings, went to the gym twice a week, and ate fairly healthy. The result was a body that just wouldn't quit. His back and shoulders looked like ones Hiro had seen in his favorite superhero movies and comic books. Built with muscles that moved effortlessly beneath his skin. And those _arms!_ They could hold Hiro down with ease. They **had** held him down!

Of course, Tadashi wasn't muscular to the point of hunkiness, either. Hiro hated that hulking physique on men. His brother was resting comfortably in that Goldilocks zone; not too skinny, not too ripped. Just right.

Tadashi's hands moved to unbuckle and unlace his belt. He dropped it with a clatter onto the wood floor beside the bed. Hiro waited anxiously for what he knew would be the last part. His chest was rising and falling rapidly with carnal excitement. He tried to rein it in, but it was no use. _I'm about to see Tadashi naked and hard! And he's going to see me! And then... Holy shit, it's really going to happen, isn't it? I'm gonna have sex with my older brother!! I wish I'd worn something sexier for him to strip off me. Next time, maybe! And what's taking so long?!_

"'Dashi.... **please."** Hiro croaked out, his whole body shaking. He sounded on the verge of tears, like he'd break down if he didn't get it soon. Tadashi was feeling much the same way, except instead of being excited by their incest he was worried it would ruin his first time with Hiro, his first time ever. Regardless, he was going to do it. He'd imagined pumping his cock deep inside his brother too many times. And no matter how many times the fact that they were brothers and Hiro was only fourteen popped into his head, his hormones slammed it back down like some perverse game of wack-a-mole.

With fingers that were surprisingly still given the situation and everything rushing through his head, Tadashi unbuttoned his jeans and slid his zipper down. He gave an audible gasp that left Hiro's skin prickling, having not realized just how tight the clothing gripped and constrained him until it loosened open. His erection, still wrapped in underwear, flopped forward and hung over the bottom of his fly. Hiro couldn't see it yet, but he knew what had happened. The boy imagined he could smell his brother's cock musk in the air, making him feel impatient again and even needier. But for once he held his tongue, heeding Tadashi's earlier words. _"Hiro, stop being such a little brat before you kill the mood."_ So the boy waited, fidgeting and trying to resist masturbating. 

Tadashi's fingers danced beneath both his underwear and his jeans for a moment. He took a deep breath, chest expanding and collapsing, preparing himself. _This is it... What I've wanted for so long now. Once Hiro sees me, all of me, there's no taking it back._

Tadashi dropped his pants and underwear with one solid push.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> . . . . But of course, you'll have to wait for three to get your proper incest fix
> 
> Chapter Title Inspiration- '4⁰' by TOOL


	3. Locked Up Inside You Like The Calm Beneath Castles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to go up Midway through my hiatus next month but the final chapter of So Alike (who's posting will mark the start of my hiatus) is taking so long I decided to go ahead and post this.
> 
> Finally! The sex. Thanks for waiting so patiently. Though I had this written at almost the same time I posted chapter one, I wanted to save it, let some time pass between chapters. Accidentally waited too long, but hey, this is the size of two chapters anyway. This chapter proves that while Hiro has long since been stripped of his innocence, he still has a lot of naivety and arrogance, especial surrounding sex. He also has shit coping mechanisms

Hiro gasped so sharply he filled his lungs in a second flat. Tadashi looked downright gorgeous! He could have been a model or a pornstar with his sculpted, domed ass and formed legs. For some odd reason Hiro had always had a thing for muscular legs. They captivated him in the gymnastics portion of the Olympics and they captivated him here and now. And as the older teen stepped out of the clothes bunched up around his feet, Hiro got a decent view of his hung backsack too. 

And then Tadashi turned around, and his thick cock, bigger than Hiro had anticipated, swung into the teen's face. His eyes zeroed in on it, pupils rapidly changing size. Hiro himself was only about five inches, a comfortable size for a boy his age (though after watching a lot of porn Hiro found himself feeling somewhat insecure about it). He expected Tadashi to be within a couple inches of him, six or seven perhaps. But Tadashi was resting at eight, maybe nine! All complete with a thick yet clearly cultured and maintained bush of black pubic hair. Another indicator of manliness in Hiro's eyes. One he also lacked. 

Tadashi's wrapper, like Hiro's own, came about halfway up his head. Somehow it looked more comfortable on Tadashi than Hiro's did. Perhaps it was a size thing? The older boy was thicker as well, after all. Tadashi had a single vein that stuck out on the right side of the shaft that Hiro longed to run his fingers over. And his slit! That wonderful, weeping slit already oozing pre. Hiro had tasted his own before and enjoyed it. But he just knew that he would absolutely love his big brother's.

All of this was reviewed by Hiro in a single quick moment before Tadashi climbed back onto the bed. 

"Lie back down, Hiro," he commanded, voice uncharacteristically husky. 

Hiro blinked. "Wh-what? Jumping straight in? No oral? No foreplay?" 

Tadashi's eyebrows knit together. "Hiro... I've been fantasizing about fucking you for nearly two years now. I'd love to wine before I dine, and your lips would look perfect around me. But I want this more. I'm... I'm seriously backed up and I can't help but go all in." He shot his brother a grin that seemed only halfway genuine, like he were trying to convince himself of what he was saying as well as his little brother. "Besides, you did say we'd be doing this more than just once. You'll have your opportunity to taste me later. Now, lie down. I still haven't even seen you properly!" 

Hiro found he didn't have any problems with this. "Okay, Tadashi. As long as we're having sex, I'm happy. Did you want me on my stomach or my back?" He looked expectantly at his older counterpart. As of now the boy's crotch was still pressing into the bed, concealing his leaking boner, but his arms were locked at the elbows to hold his top half up while he twisted a bit to watch his brother. 

"Start on your stomach, otōto. It's easier to prepare you that way. Just be sure to raise your ass for me, okay? It's more practical and it gives me a good chance to check you out at last." 

"Yeah, Tadashi, I know," Hiro remarked with a hint of his earlier brattishness returning to his voice, mostly from force of habit. He slunk back down onto his belly and raised his hips up, back curving as he presented for his big brother. "I've seen porn, you know. I'm inexperienced, not ignorant." 

Normally that sort of backtalk would have irked Tadashi at least enough to make him roll his eyes. But he found that with Hiro's naked form displayed the way it was and with all of the emotions that had welled up in him upon first seeing it still fresh, he couldn't muster up even a drop of annoyance. At least, not yet. This had only been a minor offense, after all. But Hiro had seen him. Now it was time for Tadashi to see his brother. 

He moved so that he was just behind the boy and gazed to his heart's content. Hiro's positioning was perfect. His spread knees and arched back naturally parted his ass cheeks, showing off the smooth & hairless valley along with his tight asshole. Hiro's hole was one of the finest Tadashi'd ever seen! There were no lines or wrinkles, no pucker like Tadashi's asshole (yes, he'd looked at his own a few times in the bathroom mirror). Just the smoothest and most unblemished-looking skin that suddenly became a closed well. 

Tadashi grabbed one of Hiro's cheeks- his right- and began to play with it. He liked to jiggle it back and forth, up and down, watching as it trembled gelatinously. He'd knead it and squeeze it and leave white pressure marks with his fingers that quickly faded to red. All while running his thumb softly over his brother's asshole. Hiro sighed softly, head resting comfortably on his arm. He was content with Tadashi's trepedatious exploration for now, but they both knew it wouldn't be long before his patience waned. 

Hiro's ass and hole were every bit as smooth as they'd seemed when Tadashi had just been admiring him ocularly. And he would be the tight end of Tadashi's dreams! Tadashi could already tell. 

"My Gods, Hiro, you have a great ass!" Tadashi grabbed the other cheek and pushed them both diagonally up and outward, making Hiro's asscheeks form a heart shape. "After all the sitting around you do every day on your computer and at your work table I'd have thought you'd have an ass flat as my singing voice. Guess all the food you eat and running to and from Bot-Fights pay off." He released the boy's butt. 

Hiro just grumbled pleasurably, enjoying what had essentially been a massage. 

"But this is what I really wanna see right now!" Tadashi reached a hand between his younger brother's legs and wrapped it around the boy's cock. Hiro gasped, muscles clenching. No one had ever touched him down there before. A couple of sore losers at Bot-Fights had tried (not that he would ever tell Tadashi that), but Hiro's knees had been just boney enough that once driven into the offenders' groin he wasn't pursued. But to finally let someone touch him there, simultaneously caring and controlling, made all the chills Hiro had been feeling melt away. And the fact that it was his older brother touching him down there for the first time? It brought an incredibly lecherous feeling over him. 

It wasn't only his chills that melted away, however. For a time it seemed as if everything did. The whole room around them, the low rumble of the city outside the window, his brother's bed.... Even Tadashi did for a moment until all there was, was contact against Hiro's privates. Hiro almost wanted to thrust into it, but in this moment he really didn't trust his stamina. But the urge was there nonetheless, testing Hiro's admittedly limited self-control. 

He felt so hot and smooth in Tadashi's hand. Small too, compared to his own, and with no pubes at all. Though there was no denying given his attitude and sex drive that Hiro was in puberty.

For rather selfish reasons, Tadashi wished Hiro's cock was closer in size to his own. He'd known even before he ever saw it that it was thoroughly unlikely to be any larger than this, given Hiro's age. And the fact that he was touching someone else's dick more than made up for it in terms of arousal. Not that he hadn't been enjoying this anyway. Tadashi tugged the length down, pulling it like a lever until he'd brought the shaft into view and pointing past the backs of the boy's legs. Hiro giggled and crossed his knees to hold it in place while Tadashi examined him. 

"Holy shit, Hiro, you look seriously hot!" Tadashi exclaimed. "So thin. But not like 'damn, you need to eat a sandwich' thin. Good thin." Tadashi had to keep himself from stroking either (or both) of them off. He knew they wouldn't last if he did. 

"Twinks are my favorite, you know? My love of them started with you. And if I'm honest, whenever I've looked at twinks online I've tried to find ones that look like you. It was unconscious at first, but I leaned into it when I realized how I felt." Tadashi smiled rather awkwardly, running a hand through his black hair, mussing it. 

"Oh?" Hiro turned his head to look over his left shoulder. "That's pretty hot, actually. The thought of you purposely jacking off to boys that look like me. Can you show me sometime?"

Tadashi was caught a little off guard by this request. He'd just been thinking out loud, trying to say things that would enrich the lust between them. He hadn't expected that sort or response from Hiro, and ended up mouthing wordlessly at his brother for a moment. He'd been so caught up in his own hormones that he hadn't entirely thought that statement through. And now he had no idea how to respond. He HAD looked up boys who resembled Hiro before, and had touched himself to them. But much like when he would masturbate to the thought of his little brother, his conscience and fear had prevented him from ever completing the deed. 

"I, aahh, um, I-I m-mean... I guess? I've never actually.... I mean, that wouldn't weird you out?" 

Hiro chuckled lowly and returned his head to its previous position. "Yeah right. Having anal sex with my older brother by blood is fine but seeing what he jerks off to is too taboo for me," he rolled his eyes, not yet sorting out the meaning in Tadashi's disjointed vagueness. "Of course, if he keeps talking we'll never get around to either of those things."

Tadashi raised an eyebrow. Here Hiro was, talking back to him again. But Tadashi still felt no annoyance at it. He surely would have, were the circumstances different. And that wasn't to say it didn't get a rise out of him. It most certainly did. Just a carnal one rather than an agitated one. _Oh, Hiro... You talk like you've never been put in your place. I can help with that~_

Tadashi raised two fingers to his lips and spat on them, new courageous energy pounding through his veins with a fresh rush of hormones. Hiro heard the sound and shifted a bit with nervousness. "W-wait! You're not going to use lube?!"

The fed-up and horned-up part of Tadashi enjoyed the wariness in his brother's voice. "Hiro, I'm five years older than you and still a virgin. You really think I have lube? Don't worry, though. This is the next best thing. I've done it to myself once or twice."

"Wait, what do you mean you're stil-?!" Hiro's words were cut off as Tadashi pressed his slick fingers between his brother's cheeks and began rubbing in small circular motions against his boyhole. Hiro let out one final "O-oh!!" Then fell silent, eyes fluttering shut. 

"That's it, just relax," Tadashi muttered soothingly, working the tip of his middle finger slowly, easing his brother open. "Good boy, Hiro." 

Hiro lost his fight with the lazy grin that passed over his face. Being touched like that felt every bit as good as his older brother playing with his cock had, if not better! Beign called a good boy again was just icing on the cake. 

Tadashi started to add pressure behind his middle finger, intending to penetrate Hiro before applying more spit. And it was working. His hole was opening for Tadashi with coaxed ease. Hiro may be a tight virgin, but when the time came for Tadashi to actually screw his little brother, the older Hamada would be able to get inside with little to no trouble. It would be quite the squeeze, but he could and would do it. 

The tip of Tadashi's slick middle finger plunged inside Hiro with a sudden inaudible pop. Hiro gasped sharply, eyes flaring open at the sensation. It was a feeling of mild discomfort, but not an unwelcome one. Tadashi was only knuckle deep within the borderline, however. Nowhere near enough to press against his brother's prostate and trigger pleasure. Still, Hiro found he enjoyed the small uncomfortable feeling, which threw him. 

"Everything f-feels better when it's you," Hiro muttered with strengthening conviction. 

Tadashi said nothing but pressed his advantage and started thrusting the solo finger in and out of Hiro, not bothering to be slow and cautious. Not that his brother minded. With just the one finger there was no pain, and as Tadashi pushed in deeper his fingertip began to tease the boy's prostate. It felt absolutely different from when Hiro would play with himself, but in a good way. 

Hiro wasn't aware that he'd begun to mewl quietly alongside Tadashi's fingering. But the older boy couldn't ignore it. "You sound like you're enjoying this," he smirked. "Just wait. We get you properly prepared and move on to the real thing and this will seem tiny and trite in comparison." He started teasing Hiro's ring with the second finger, half-circling it and intermittently adding pressure. 

"Huuuuugggnnnnnn~" Hiro moaned, muffled by the mattress. "P-prove it! Walk your talk, Aniki."

"With pleasure!" Tadashi leaned in close and spat onto his bother's penetrated asshole, giving it more lube, and forced his second finger in alongside the first. He could feel Hiro clinging tightly to him, unable to stop himself from clenching hard as powerful new feelings washed over him. Hiro bit down on his own arm in an attempt to displace some of intensity, and fought with his urges to keep quiet and the desire to not draw pain or blood. He soon got used to it all, but it felt like forever before he could unlock his teeth and jaw from his arm, leaving deep white intentions that would certainly bruise over by morning. He'd have to wear his hoodie again to hide the marks, which would be hell in this heat, but necessary. 

But Tadashi had no issues, save for the sheer _tightness_ of his brother's arse. It felt not dissimilar to a rubber band wrapped three times around Tadashi's fingers. Very tight and strained, but with enough elasticity to stretch and accommodate more. 

Tadashi was also able to deliver more focus in his thrusts now that he had two fingers inside his baby brother. Focus he put towards pleasuring the boy as well as stretching him. He did scissor the fingers apart a few times to help prep Hiro, but mostly he crept towards the back of Hiro's rectum to rub circles against his prostate. Hiro was left a quivering, drooling mess on the bed, all his earlier fight utterly gone from his posture. 

"D-D-Dassshiiii," he whined, gyrating his hips. "Tadashi, please..."

"Please what?" Tadashi smirked, happy to be rid of the brat he'd been wrestling with since arriving back home, however temporary it might be. 

"J-just fuck me already!" Hiro pleaded, actual tears in his eyes. "If you don't s-stop fingering me I'm gonna cum! And I don't wanna cum before you take me!" There was sharp, harried desperation in the boy's voice. 

Tadashi stilled his hand but kept his fingers buried inside his brother down to the second knuckle. His fingertips were just barely triggering his sweet spot. "Why should I?"

"I don't understand, 'Dashi." Hiro's voice came out a strained whisper. It was all he could do to maintain cognition. 

"Why should I fuck you?" He jabbed his fingers forward and forced the boy to cry aloud and clench his muscles in ecstasy. "In fact," Tadashi eased off again, letting Hiro pant and recover, "why should I even let you cum? You've been nothing short of an infuriating menace all night." He pulled his fingers all the way out.

Tadashi wasn't sure where this was coming from. Sure, he was exasperated with his brother, but resorting to this kind of cruel teasing? It didn't feel like him at all, and yet he couldn't hold it back, didn't even want to try. 

"No... Please! I'm sorry!" Hiro trembled softly, his back starting to perspire. 

"For what?" 

"F-for being a brat."

"And?"

"And for being inconsiderate of you and Aunt Cass."

"Go on," Tadashi caressed Hiro's right butt cheek with the back of his hand, encouraging and enticing him. 

"And I'm sorry for trying to go Bot-Fighting again!" Hiro finished, looking ashamed and hopeful. "Will you please fuck me now?" 

"In a moment, otōto, in a moment. Do you promise, in exchange for release, that you won't sneak off to any more Bot-Fights this week?" 

Hiro nodded quickly, wild black hair falling into his wide brown eyes. "I swear! It's a deal!"

"Good," Tadashi brought his fingers back up to Hiro's hole. "Then we can continue." 

"W-wait!" Hiro exclaimed upon feeling the fingers at his back entrance again. "What are you doing? Aren't you gonna fuck me?! I told you if you keep fingering me I'm gonna cum early."

"Even after that little respite?" 

"My stamina is literally non-existent. Yeah, I m-might last a little longer, but I'll still c-cum."

Tadashi scowled. "Well, you're still awfully tight, Hiro. You need at least one more finger." 

"Skip it," Hiro begged. "Please, Tadashi... I really can't stand it anymore. I can take it, don't worry. I play with myself sometimes, with my fingers up there. I can take it. I **have** to take it."

Tadashi considered for a moment, then shrugged and lifted his fingers away from Hiro's rear and up to his lips. "Suit yourself, little bro."

He quickly lubed his fingers again, sucking Hiro's flavor off them before bringing them down to stroke along his shaft, slicking it up. It was the first time Tadashi had touched himself that night, and as he did so he immediately became thankful for Hiro's demand that they skip ahead. His touch made most of his muscles convulse and forced him to groan out. His cock head felt extra sensitive as his foreskin slid back and forth over it, spreading his pre around evenly with the saliva. He needed this every bit as much as Hiro did, if not more. 

Once he deemed himself properly lubricated down below, Tadashi crept in closer to his brother. But he paused, hesitating before he could reach out and take hold of the teen's hips. Something was missing. 

"Um, Hiro? Could you roll onto your back now? I just needed you in this position while I prepped you. But... Well, in my fantasies you're always looking at me...." Tadashi trailed off with a sheepish smile, pink setting into his cheeks. It was all he could do to ask for this, instead of diving right in. How was anyone ever supposed to make the right choices when they were this horny?

Hiro lifted his head a bit off of Tadashi's bed, still breathing deeply. "You wanna look y-your little brother in the eye while you deflower him, eh?" 

Tadashi rolled his eyes. "Well, that _was_ a sweet moment, genius. You watch too much porn." 

"And you don't watch enough, Aniki," Hiro teased as he started to turn over, lowering his hips. But for once it was a light-hearted tease rather than an arrogant jest. He was secretly grateful for his brother's request. Porn always made that raised-hip curved-back position look easy, but he was tiring out and already getting sore from just those few minutes. "Although, you're the one who promised to show me your porn later," Hiro winked mischievously up at Tadashi as he flipped onto his back. His dick only came a little over halfway up to his belly button, whereas Tadashi's made it all the way.

"You're going to hold me to that, then?" Tadashi tried for a grin to hide the fact that his heart was beating frantically, and climbed slowly atop his brother, moving between the boy's legs. 

"Absolutely, I will," Hiro breathed. He placed his small hands softly flat against Tadashi's bare chest, relishing the warmth and firmness he felt there. Ever since he was a kid he liked feeling Tadashi's muscles. Until now it had been innocent fun, Tadashi's form being so different from Hiro's own- muscular vs scrawny- that it would make Hiro giggle childishly. But in this situation it made Hiro feel a whole different range of emotions, none of which could be classified as 'innocent.' 

Tadashi's nerves calmed slightly at the touch against his chest. Porn was a touchy, embarrassing subject for Tadashi. Well, it was for everyone, but the reason for his embarrassment was completely different than everyone else's....

Tadashi quickly but carefully positioned himself, not wanting he and Hiro to dry or for Hiro to close up before they got a move on. He had to get in push-up position for it, bringing his body down close to Hiro's. But push-ups and endurance were his workout specialties. He'd be able to fuck Hiro like this with no problem. Besides, it wasn't likely they'd last very long anyway. Hiro had already admitted to a lack of stamina, and while Tadashi was several years older than his brother he wasn't sure he had much more in terms of self-control, die mostly to an overall lack of experience. This was going to be his first time too, after all. And in more than just one way....

"You ready, otōto?" 

Hiro nodded twice. "Do it!"

Tadashi's face set. He took a last look at Hiro's before penetration, knowing it wouldn't truly be any different after they had sex but wanting to lock down those boyish features in his mind anyway. But he stopped scanning Hiro's visage before he felt he was done, not wanting the younger teen to think something was wrong, and closed his eyes. 

The older Hamada thrust forward with quick force. The tightness of Hiro's asshole couldn't hinder entry with that kind of strength behind the initial push, and Tadashi found himself a ways inside his brother within a second. 

Hiro's eyes bulged and a deep, pained hiss escaped from clenched teeth. "Thhssssss n-nope! Nope!" His hands slid up to grip Tadashi's shoulders so tightly it actually hurt, though only just. Nails dug crescent indentions in his skin, and the boy's hole clenched instinctively around Tadashi's shaft, but that only made things worse. The level of pain he was feeling skyrocketed, resulting in the hiss becoming a tearful yelp! He unclenched immediately, but the damage was done. His hole felt like it was on fire! Not the low, pleasurable burning sensation he was used to when he would play with himself a bit, but a proper searing pain. 

"Shit, Hiro! Are you alright?! I thought you said you could take it?!" Tadashi's eyes flashed open to look at his sweating, red and scrunch-faced younger brother beneath him. 

"Ahhh, w-well I couldn't. You were r-right, I was wrong. Don't rub it in or I'll hit you. . . FUUUCCKKK that really stings though. Just please don't m-move for a minute." 

"Okay, Hiro... I'm so sorry. Do you want to stop?" 

The younger boy shook his head jerkily. "N-no... I want this! I just need a moment." He blinked the tears out of his eyes. "It's already starting to feel a little better. And you're barely inside m-me!"

It was true. Tadashi's thrust had only driven him about an inch into Hiro. His foreskin had been pulled taught off his head, and Hiro's anal ring gripped his shaft just below it. Tadashi nodded his acceptance. 

"Okay, Hiro. I want to keep going too, but if you ever need me to stop just say the word. I'll give you a minute to adjust." He leaned his face down into Hiro's, intending to place an understanding kiss against his brother's lips. After everything that had happened that night thus far it didn't even register for Tadashi that this would be their first kiss together. It just seemed like the thing to do. 

"Tadashi!" Hiro exclaimed, turning his head away and pushing against his brother's shoulders. "What are you _doing?!_ "

Tadashi blinked, confused. "What? What's the problem? I was only going to kiss you." 

Hiro wrinkled his nose. "No thank you." 

The older boy stared at him, dumbfounded. "What, really? I mean, okay I guess. But I'm actually _inside_ of you right now and kissing is too weird?"

"We can talk about it later, okay? I think I'm almost good. You can try going deeper soon."

"Okay, Hiro. Anything else you don't want me to do?" Tadashi fought to keep the bitterness and disappointment out of his voice. As many times as he'd fantasized about fucking his younger brother, the number of kissing daydreams he had regarding Hiro well outstripped them. Sometimes those fantasies were what lulled him to sleep at night. Imagining the feel of Hiro's soft-looking lips on his was soothing, calming. Like it was meant to be.

Hiro shook his head. "Kissing's too formal. Keep it raucous. As long as I'm not bleeding or bored, I'm okay." 

That statement sent up serious red flags for Tadashi, but he was already penetrating Hiro. He'd come this far for a reason, gone past the point of no return for a reason. And he was just too damn horny to stop. Though he knew that in the harsh light of day and once he wasn't so horned up there would be a lot to mull over. _Understatement of the century._

"Tadashi?"

"Hmm?"

"You can go deeper. I'm okay now."

The older boy nodded with the slightest of blushes and shifted his weight a little. He could feel that Hiro was still nice and slick down below, with no need for a tune-up after their short break. When he pushed his hips forward he went slower than he had before, testing to make sure Hiro could take it.

At least, that had been his intent. But Tadashi had never so much as fucked a fleshlight. The totality and warm smoothness of Hiro's tight rear was entirely different from Tadashi's hand, and indescribably better. He slid in steadily at first, but the pleasure bribed him, urged him to chase it. So he did. His push became hard until inch by loaded inch he claimed his little brother's asshole as his own. 

Hiro's breaths grew sharper and louder the more Tadashi had sunk into him. The pain was gone, thank the Gods, but that didn't stop him from quickly being overwhelmed by all these new and powerful feelings. Fingering himself hadn't prepared him in the slightest. For starters, he'd almost always done that in the shower with lots of hot water to coax and keep him open. And truth be told, his fingers were small. The three he'd managed to get inside himself during showers barely even came out to half the diameter of Tadashi's shaft, especially closer to its base. 

It felt much bigger than it looked, too. Right in all the wrong ways. The feel of it creeping deeper inside him, his older brother's privates, and the sensation of it stretching him like that clicked and overflowed. Hiro wanted to do this every night. He wanted to get a little rough, to make some noise, to take risks! This was the absolute best feeling there was, surely. Bot-Fighting couldn't even compare!

Hiro squeezed his eyes shut tight and let every urge play out. Every little sound, be it a small gasp or a high moan slipped through his open mouth without any attempt at holding them in. He squirmed freely, hands falling and grabbing hold of Tadashi's bedsheets, scrunching them up in a tight grasp. The boy wanted more, which worked out as Tadashi gave up on being slow straightaway and followed his urges as well. 

Tadashi hit Hiro's prostate a little more than halfway in, and Hiro was immediately shown that there were indeed better feelings than what he'd been experiencing. It felt like a miniature orgasm! It made his gut and hole clench, this time without any pain, and made his insides sore with pleasure. A wonderful taboo ache that made him long for his actual full orgasm, which couldn't be too far away. 

Tadashi's cock soon slid on past Hiro's sweet spot, lessening the pressure on it and giving him time to breathe. The older boy's head hit the back of Hiro's rectum, a sudden curve in his anal cavity that felt almost like a second asshole for Tadashi to push through. And push through it he did! White hot spots of pleasure danced in Tadashi's vision as his cock forced on, not that it actually needed much power to get it going. 

The last of Tadashi's shaft entered Hiro, the pubes around his base touching against the skin of his ass, the bottoms of his balls. "Ohhhh, fuck! I swear, Hiro... This is so much better than I ever thought it would be, and I've hardly even done anything yet! I wish you could feel what this is like for me, I really do. There's nothing in the world like it." 

Hiro shivered despite the sweat showing on his stomach and chest. "I know w-what you mean, 'Dashi. I always pictured sex feeling different than this. More on the surface pleasure side of th-things, l-like when you smear pre over your head. But this goes so much deeper than I thought! N-no pun intended." He grinned a little, opening his eyes to look up into his brother's face. 

For the first second or so of looking, Hiro saw Tadashi's face as rather strained. A thick flush, his jaw clenched, nostrils flared, and forehead wrinkled. Despite how it seemed, they were all born of positives. Tadashi had never been happier to have his muscles ache like this, or to be slammed by so many unfamiliar new sensations. But as his gaze met Hiro's and their brown eyes locked onto each other, they both softened. Tadashi's expression became more relaxed and Hiro unclenched his muscles from jaw to back to asshole. 

Hiro saw himself in Tadashi's eyes. They looked exactly like his own and served to enforce how wrong this intercourse was, a fact Hiro was still feeding off of. But Tadashi saw all of his own desires in Hiro's eyes. The acquisition of everything he'd longed for. Well, almost everything. 

"I can't believe you were able to fit all of me! I'm pretty big, I think, and this was your first time... Mine too." 

Hiro started to smile proudly, but Tadashi's words brought up a sense of curiosity in him, one that had cropped up earlier only for him to become immediately distracted from it. "I'm your first?" 

Tadashi nodded, his face only two inches away from his brother's. He could feel the boy's breath on his lips! He wanted nothing more than to bridge that gap and kiss Hiro, to show his brother through their mouths what he felt. Tadashi was sure that he could properly express his passion and make Hiro understand his side of things. But as much as he _ached_ to, Hiro had asked him not to so he held himself back. 

Hiro scoffed with disbelief. "So you mean to tell me that we're really taking each other's virginities?!" His voice lept with excitement, like a kid on Christmas. "That's so. . ." 

_Sweet?_ Tadashi thought to himself. _Cute? Awkward?_

"That's so hot!" Hiro declared, now grinning from ear to ear. "Like, holy crap, 'Dashi! How have you never had sex before? You're really good-looking, popular with the ladies...."

Tadashi smiled stiffly, mollified by the compliment but a little disappointed with the reaction. "I like all my friends as friends. I didn't mean to not have sex until now, it just worked out that way." _And I never was turned on enough to try it with anyone else..... Or even with myself._

He rolled his hips slowly backwards, starting to pull out of Hiro. As much as he appreciated his brother's disbelief and the accidental compliments that came with it, this wasn't the time for talking. 

Hiro took the hint and fell silent again, save for small gasps elicited by the movement inside him. Tadashi watched Hiro's eyes glaze over, the disbelief that had lit them a moment before becoming erased. Once Tadashi was all but an inch out of the young boy's hole he paused. The air from the room felt strange on his shaft. It had been so hot and comfortable inside Hiro that the cool dryness outside him felt shocking and unpleasant. Tadashi hurried to thrust back in. 

He accidentally thrust harder than intended, making the bed rock just slightly. His cock went almost the whole length inside again and made Tadashi huff deeply with pleasure. Hiro took it like a champ, a grunt his only acknowledgement. 

"Th-that's not so bad, eh?" Tadashi panted out, already retracting for another thrust. "T-told you the spit would do its j-job!" He plunged back in and they both groaned aloud. 

It was on the sixth thrust, as Tadashi began to find his rhythm, that Hiro discovered he could almost double his sensitivity by lightly clenching his hole. The thrusts felt all the more powerful and pleasing, and the friction between them when Tadashi pulled out generated a pleasant flitting within him too. It worked wonders on Tadashi as well. He couldn't believe that Hiro could get any tighter, but welcomed the change gladly. Of course, Hiro lacked the focus to properly maintain it, but he did what he could. 

Hiro found it infuriating that he hadn't shot his load yet. Ever the horny teenager, he had yet to recognize the superiority of lasting sex over fast relief. He just wanted to cum, to feel that singular release and pleasure. And after Tadashi had come so close to triggering it with only his fingers, he wasn't sure why it was taking this long now his brother was actually properly fucking him. The only thing he could think of was that maybe the short gaps between thrusts was enough to dissipate any beginnings of an orgasm there might have been?

But Tadashi was working to change that, ignorant as he may be to Hiro's situation. His thrusts were beginning to pick up speed and power, making the bed shake a little more and the headboard start tapping lightly on the wall. It felt incredible! Unparalleled! But still it wasn't enough. Hiro wanted to masturbate and try to speed things up, but one look at Tadashi's face, peppered with sweat and lips parted so he could breathe sharply, shut down that impulse. He knew Tadashi would be thrilled if he made him cum hands-free, and Hiro in turn got off on that knowledge. Besides, he was curious. He'd seen it happen a couple times in porn and wondered if an anal orgasm felt any different from cumming via masturbation. 

And in any case, Tadashi continued to pile on more and more power behind his thrusts so that soon enough he was driving his entire length inside his brother and back out again in the space of a second. The slapping sound of flesh on flesh merged with their moans (which were growing in volume) and the knocking of the headboard against the wall. Thank goodness Aunt Cass' room was so far away. If she heard them there would be no mistaking what was taking place. 

A mixed sense of dread and arousal filled Hiro. His thoughts were so disjointed from the pleasurable anal assault he was receiving that it took him a moment to sort through and figure out the bizarre combination of feelings. _I... I like the idea of being overheard! I like the thought of Aunt Cass knowing Tadashi's fucking me! Or... No, I like the **possibility** of someone knowing, not any actuality. . . Still..._

"H-harder, Tadashi! Pllleeaassssseeee!" Hiro dug his nails into his brother's shoulders again, wanting them to be louder, to feel more inside himself. To force his orgasm out. If his nails hurt Tadashi the older boy didn't let on. He just looked down into Hiro's face, silently asking if Hiro could take it. The boy gave a single half nod, which was all the confirmation Tadashi needed. 

Tadashi started fucking Hiro so hard it tore cries from his mouth. Hiro tried to squeeze his eyes shut, but every time Tadashi plowed into him and triggered his sweet spot the boy's eyes were forced wide open again. It felt so hot. Literally. Though Hiro was only lying there, he was caked with sweat now, as was his brother. 

And finally, **finally** Hiro felt his orgasm approaching. Though Tadashi had barely been fucking him for five minutes, seven at the most, in his desperation to cum it had felt to Hiro like far longer. But now he could feel the beginning prickles, the tightening in his gut. And already he could tell it would be a big one. 

"Tadash-shi!" Hiro gasped out, fighting to get his tongue to work without slurring his words. "I'm-!" 

"I kn-know!" Tadashi panted, hips working furiously as he ravaged his brother. "I'm not far behind you!" His eyes were wide with adoring disbelief. It was _finally_ going to happen!

"C-c-can you slow down while it happens?" Hiro asked, eyes only half open. He was aware of how silly his request sounded, so soon after begging Tadashi to fuck him harder. In an unaroused state he would have found it embarrassing and awkward. But right now he couldn't care less. 

"Can't take it?" Tadashi teased. Hiro shook his head. 

Actually, he could take it just fine, at least while he was still on this side of his money shot. But when he came Hiro didn't want anything else distracting him from it, not even Tadashi pounding him. Especially not that. Hiro wanted to see how this compared with masturbating, after all. 

Tadashi nodded in acceptance and slowed his thrusts considerably, making the headboard stop banging on their wall. He kept some power behind the thrusts, though. A good thing, because Hiro was about to pop. 

"D-DASSHIIIIII!" He tried not to cry but ended up doing so anyway. His gut tightened again then released, and Hiro felt a bubble of pleasure within himself swell rapidly before he squeezed his eyes shut and started to spurt out all over his and Tadashi's stomachs in hot, gooey perfection. 

Once he started cumming Hiro forgot to breathe. For once porn hadn't lied to him. Hands-free anal milking was _far_ superior to just masturbating. It was one of the most intense orgasms he'd ever felt! And as it washed solidly through him and began to dissipate Hiro felt as though he'd been sapped of almost all of his energy. Where before having sex with his brother the boy had been wide awake and rearing to go Bot-Fightig again, he was now so tired all he wanted to do was curl up with his stuffed panda and sleep well into the next day. 

Of course, Tadashi had other plans. He still had yet to cum. What was more, Hiro's orgasm had left the boy far more sensitive than he'd been before. He knew from experience via masturbation that this would fade soon. Usually within the next minute or two. But that had been no ordinary orgasm, and Tadashi showed no signs of slowing any more than he already had. In fact, he actually seemed to be speeding up again! The dull slapping sound of flesh on flesh had returned, along with the tapping of the headboard. 

"Aahhhh, f-fuck! Tadashi please! S-slow down! I'm t-too sensitive!" Hiro's eyes went wide, his forehead wrinkling as he clenched his muscles, especially his asshole, in an unconscious effort to take the overwhelming pleasure his brother was giving him. His knuckles were red and white as he held even tighter onto Tadashi's bedding. 

Tadashi made a bad call. He'd been about to heed Hiro's wishes and slow his thrusts down again, give his brother some period of adjustment, maybe even refraction. But he was _so close_ to his own orgasm. He could feel it teasing him, that taughtness of his gut and pleasurable churning that accompanied it. They were familiar feelings, but he'd rarely let them take him this far before.

Hiro's behavior that night passed through his mind. How the boy had been about to go Bot-Fighting again seconds after arriving home from the police station. How Tadashi'd fought with the boy, who had been arrogantly insistent on leaving, everything Tadahi and Cass had done for him be damned. How he'd spoken so carelessly and holier-than-thou. How he'd rejected Tadashi's kiss because it was "too formal." 

_You wanted me to fuck you... You should have thought this through!_

Tadashi kept up the power and pace of his thrusts, and soon enough Hiro was crying out again, this time because the pleasure was too much to take, and he had no method of release. He would have wet himself had there been anything in him to lose. And a few seconds after Hiro started crying again, Tadashi was right there crying out with him. Only he still had a way to bring himself relief. 

It was just as he'd imagined. He could feel the cum leave his cock, could feel it pumping blissfully down the length of his shaft only to explode in geyser-like spurts from his slit to fill Hiro's rectum. **Finally!** Though his cry was much deeper than Hiro's, more of a howl really, it was every bit as loud. A good thing they had thick walls and Aunt Cass slept a floor down and on the opposite side of the building. 

"Ohhhh thank you!" Tadashi found himself gasping out breathlessly. "Thank you, Hiro! Thank you... F-finally... Thank you!" He sounded close to tears. But Hiro was too distracted to properly register any of that. 

One good thing, at least for Hiro, that came with his brother's orgasm was a cease in his thrusts, which had grown manic and rabid in the seconds leading up to his climax. Now his cock was jammed all the way up inside Hiro's sore hole, down to its base, and was twitching with decreasing consistency as both their cries and Tadashi's pleased mutters faded away, leaving only the sound of their heavy breathing. 

For a moment Hiro didn't move, couldn't speak. He'd loved every second of this up until the end of his own peak. The pleasures there had been exactly what he'd looked for, what he'd needed in place of Bot-Fighting. And honestly also what he needed as a teenager deep in the throes of puberty. But after that, when he'd been just so _sensitive?_ it had been overwhelming. He hadn't been able to think. He'd felt as if he couldn't breathe even though he could just fine, which had resulted in him taking panicked gulps of air as deeply as his intermittent cries would allow. He didn't hold it against Tadashi, though. He knew now that his brother was a virgin, that he couldn't help himself. 

But Tadashi didn't know Hiro felt forgiving. And as the excitement and overstimulation passed, a deep feeling of remorse and uneasy shock filled his gut. _what did I do?!_ He wasn't worried at all about having just fucked his little brother. He'd wanted to for so long that he'd already worked through all the guilt that could be associated to it. But how he'd done it, losing control like that... Those were different stories entirely. And seeing Hiro shuddering and panting as he fought to recover....

Tadashi wanted to apologize to Hiro, to make him know how ashamed he was and to make sure the younger boy was okay. He opened his mouth to give voice to his feelings. 

"I thought you said you could take it?" 

The harshness of the statement shocked Tadashi. _Did I really just say that?_ But he felt it in his heart. Some lingering stony anger had joined with what remained of his panic to fling the blame back onto Hiro. Tadashi felt that leftover anger extinguish, leaving only his usual doting worry for his baby brother. He had to make this right. 

The younger boy didn't even know how to respond to Tadashi's words. He could barely even think, he was so exhausted and blown away by what had just happened. In the end he couldn't even stay focused on what Tadashi had said. His thoughts turned to himself. 

"Tadashi. . ." Hiro gasped out after a moment. "I n-need to sit up. My legs are falling asleep and I'm really hot." 

"Right... Sorry." Tadashi slowly pulled out of his brother. Where before his shaft had felt nice and wet, it now just felt sticky and untouchable. His head and part of his shaft brushed against the bedding, sending a sharp alien feeling jolting through him. It felt hypersensitive, but not in a pleasurable way. More jarring than anything. Tadashi pushed the sensations to the back of his mind, knowing he needed to focus on his brother. Semen began to leak out of Hiro immediately, until he clenched his hole shut, grimacing a little at its soreness. Tadahi rolled to the side, getting off his brother, and let the boy sit up. 

Awkward was the only way to describe how the room felt now they'd both came. Hiro was down off his high, the thrill all but gone, and he couldn't believe what had just happened. He stared in shocked disbelief at his bare toes, drawing deep, slow breaths. 

But where Hiro was just feeling shock, Tadashi piling on more and more shame. He'd wanted Hiro for so long, but never like this. Sure he'd been sexually attracted to him, but the romance had always played at least an equal part in his fantasies as the sex. There was no romance in what they'd just done whatsoever. It had been purely pleasures of the flesh, trite and meaningless at that. And when Hiro had asked him to ease up he'd gone even harder, like he was punishing the boy for not requiting his love. 

Tadashi sat up too, slowly. He reached out a shaking hand, hoping to place it comfortingly on his brother's shoulders. He had to try and make this up to Hiro. Tadashi wondered briefly if he only felt that way in order to ease his conscience, but discarded the thought immediately. He had always cared about Hiro's well-being. That had been the whole point of tonight, after all. Rescuing Hiro from Yama's gang and then doing whatever he could to ensure the boy stayed away from the other Bot-Fight. 

But Hiro lept up before Tadashi's hand reached him. 

"H-Hiro, wait!" 

The worried crack in his older brother's voice made Hiro pause and turn around. Tadashi's eyes locked onto his face, completely ignoring his exposed ass and softening dick. 

"What is it, 'Dashi?" Hiro's voice felt hoarse, his throat dry. 

"Could you... Could you just wait here a minute? On the bed?" 

Hiro shrugged. He was either still too shocked or feeling too passive to argue. "I guess," he slowly sank back down, joints creaking like he'd just run a marathon rather than lie in bed. Tadashi sat the rest of the way up and stood. 

"Just wait here," he said, then made his way around the light dividers separating their sides of the room. Hiro stared at Tadashi's ass with the numbest of enjoyment as he walked away, until he was out of sight. It was the sort of thing where he couldn't like it now, with everything he was feeling, but he knew when he was calmer and rested he'd enjoy the memory of looking at it. The same went for the sex they'd just had. It was too fresh and inconceivable to properly appreciate it just yet. 

He heard his brother rustling around the midsection and his side of the room, opening and closing drawers, and then a moment later he returned. In one hand he held a bottle of water, fresh from their shared mini fridge. He held it out to Hiro wordlessly, and the boy took it. He set down what he'd been holding in his other hand, a rolled up pair of Hiro's pajama bottoms, on the bed. 

"Drink," he said in a calm, soothing voice. The tone sounded forced, like Tadashi was very much not calm or soothed himself, but Hiro found he appreciated the effort nonetheless. "Just make sure you save some." 

Tadashi made his way over to his bedside table as Hiro twisted off the cap of his water bottle and took a deep gulp. He hadn't been aware of how parched he was until the water touched his tongue and a cool refreshed feeling began to fill him. It grew with each gulp and sip until the bottle was nearly empty. Though the drink didn't give him any of his energy back, it did rejuvenate his nerves and help alleviate some of the shock. Hiro stopped, saving some as Tadashi had instructed. 

"Could you come here?" Tadashi asked, voice sounding apologetic and cautious now. Hiro nodded and stood again. "Sure, Tadashi." His voice came out much clearer now. The young boy made his way around the bed, stepping over an assortment of their discarded clothes, to stand beside his brother. 

Tadashi's hands came out, reaching for Hiro's bare hips. But he paused with his fingertips centimeters away from his brother's skin and looked him hesitantly in the eye, meekly asking for permission. Hiro gave it with a single nod and Tadashi took his hips gently and turned Hiro around. 

Hiro's breath caught a little with uncertainty. He wasn't sure what exactly Tadashi was doing, but he was certain it wasn't more sex. The atmosphere was completely changed from earlier. Too much to allow for any more mischief. 

But then Tadashi pulled a tissue from a box sitting on his nightstand and Hiro relaxed. He felt his brother's free hand on one of his ass cheeks, then that cheek being spread apart and the soft tissue was passed through the boy's valley, cleaning off the sweat and semen trapped there. 

"Erm, Hiro?" Tadashi pressed the tissue against his aching hole. "Could you maybe push the rest out?" They both blushed furiously at the question, but Hiro nodded and did as he was asked. He groaned a bit in discomfort as his sore asshole opened to let out most of the rest of Tadashi's cum, but he stayed strong. 

"I can help with that," Tadashi told him as he tossed the now cum-soiled tissue into a neighboring trash can. He leaned over and opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand. Hiro heard the unmistakable rattle of a medicine bottle, which Tadashi quickly opened and withdrew a single pill from. He offered it to Hiro, who accepted a little wearily. 

"What is this?" He asked.

"Ibuprofen," Tadashi said. "Dosage is a little on the stronger side, but it'll be fine. Should help with everything. Muscles, joints, your asshole..." He blushed again suddenly and cast his brown eyes away. "Sorry," he muttered, "I'm new to this. I just want to take care of you and make sure that you're alright. Especially after...." 

"You don't need to apologize," Hiro told him, opening his bottle again to swallow down the pill with the rest of his water. "Honest, I'm okay."

It wasn't entirely true, but also wasn't entirely false. Hiro still hadn't found the nerve or the power to analyze what had happened at all. Right now his whole body felt like a cut before you notice it's there. Once you let yourself take note of it is when you feel it. He hadn't let himself notice yet. 

Tadashi opened his mouth, looking as though he were about to argue, but reconsidered and said nothing. He rose back to his feet and made his way to his nearby chest of drawers to pull out a pair of pajama bottoms for himself. He put on the first pair he came in contact with, a grey, blue, and white plaid stripped pair, then began to go around the room to pick up their various items of discarded clothing. 

"You should put yours on, too," he said as Hiro tossed the now empty water bottle into the trash. Tadashi dumped everything into his dirty clothes hamper and returned to his bed, feeling exhausted. 

Hiro put them on rather gratefully. Post-sex had him feeling embarrassed and exposed, which he'd read was natural but still felt unnerving. Tadashi had brought him the perfect pair, too. A black number that went down to his ankles but was light and breezy enough to be cool and comfortable. It was also very unrevealing, leaving no tightness that would outline his ass or crotch, yet had a waistband that fit him well and kept the pair from sliding down any. It was modest, and just what Hiro needed. 

He still hadn't properly processed everything that had just happened. He was wonderfully exhausted, and every time his thoughts drifted to think over what they'd done he felt himself getting groggier and his focus would become disjointed. So he stopped trying. 

"I wish you would stay the night with me," Tadashi blurted out as he crawled under his bedsheet. Hiro's heart felt momentarily weightless, both with twinges of anxiety and contentedness. 

"I can't sleep without Felix," he said, referring to his stuffed panda. He offered nothing else before turning on heel and walking away, disappearing behind the divider. 

Tadashi's heart sank. _I was too rough with him... He doesn't want to stay with me._ His fear was confirmed when the lights in their room went out, leaving only Tadashi's lamp on, and Hiro's footsteps could be heard heading away from the switch by their door to his bed on the opposite side of the room. 

Except a moment later Tadashi heard the footsteps coming back towards him! They were soft, just bare feet on hard wood. They paused around halfway there for a moment, then resumed until Hiro came back into view. He held Felix in one hand and a fresh water bottle in the other. 

"Here," he passed the bottle to Tadashi before crawling under the covers with him. "You've got to be thirsty too. You really should've gotten one for yourself. Drink. It feels amazing!" 

An odd warmth that contrasted with his mood began to spread through Tadashi. He still felt ashamed, but as he opened the cap and took his first swig of the wonderfully cold water, he started to think that maybe things weren't as bad as he'd made them out to be in his head. Hiro had chosen to come back, and he seemed to be okay, if a little weird. And weird was fine. It was expected. Still, he needed to work things out with Hiro. But he knew now wasn't the time. Hiro's eyes were half closed and he looked like he could fall asleep while standing if need be. Tadashi felt much the same way himself. 

He clicked off his bedside lamp, letting the darkness embrace them. Tadashi rolled onto his side, debating putting his arm around Hiro. Hiro solved that for him by edging back against him so they were pressed together. They both gave small smiles, and Tadahi hugged Hiro close while Hiro hugged his Panda. 

"Hiro?" Tadashi whispered into the boy's ear softly. 

"Hmm?"

"Can I take you to my school tomorrow?" 

Hiro raised an eyebrow, an impressive feat when you're exhausted and your eyes are closed. "Why?"

"... Reasons. I wanna be with you but I also have to get out of this house. I'm more comfortable over there sometimes. And I've been meaning to show you around for ages anyway." 

"I guess that's okay," Hiro shrugged. "Goodnight, Tadashi."

"Goodnight, Hiro," Tadashi placed a soft kiss under Hiro's ear and closed his eyes. He knew they'd end up sleeping in. They'd be getting to SFIT in the late afternoon. But for what he had in mind it would be worth it. And they couldn't be near this bed for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a ride! I know I'm just repeating myself with this, but normally I write Hiro and Tadashi as a fairly healthy/fluffy couple, even with their sex. But this time was purposefully different, darker and more awkward. I have a plan for this fic going on and things *will* get better. Honestly, I could just end the fic here. But I won't. Still, I'll take a break from this one for a short while so I can update some other stuff. Since this is more or less a natural stopping point I'm not too worried about getting chapter 4 out in any sort of timely fashion. Besides, chapter four will mainly be relationship stuff anyway. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment with any and all of your thoughts. I'm sexually attracted to feedback.
> 
> Chapter Title Inspiration- '4⁰' by TOOL


	4. Between Supposed Lovers

It was a little infuriating. The whole next morning, despite waking up naked together, Tadashi acted as if nothing had happened. He shook Hiro awake with a patient smile and a pile of folded clothes (Hiro got his hopes up momentarily that his brother would force him to wear something sexy all day, but no, it was just shorts, a T-shirt, and plain underwear), then told him they would be going to SFIT as planned. 

They dressed together quickly. Well, Tadashi dressed quickly. Hiro had tried to flaunt his morning wood, rubbing obviously at it and giving his brother meaningful looks. 

"If you need to take care of that, make it quick," Tadashi had told him as he laced up his shoes. "I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast." And with that he'd left their room, leaving Hiro standing in socks and a shirt, stroking himself off to a non-existent audience. 

It would have been less infuriating if Hiro had been able to confront Tadashi about it, but after the older teen made a beeline downstairs they'd both been surrounded by other people. First, it was Aunt Cass, who had been trying to play things cool all through breakfast but was clearly hoping the trip to Tadashi's school would result in some sort of lifestyle turnaround for Hiro. She kept talking about how good it was for Tadashi, how attendance almost guaranteed success, on and on and on as she loaded up Hiro's plate with eggs. Then they took the bus to the campus and were surrounded by strangers who had no concept of privacy or personal space. 

Finally Tadashi had taken Hiro to his lab and introduced his friends. They were actually really cool! Hiro enjoyed meeting them and seeing firsthand what they could do. He was blown away by GoGo's electromagnetic bike suspension, Wasabi's Laser Grid, and Honey's... Well, he wasn't entirely sure what to call turning a giant ball of metal pink before blowing it up in a haze of purple smoke. Whatever it was, though, it was cool! And even Fred, the mascot, was super nice, and his personality perfectly bounced off of Hiro's goofier side. 

In all honesty, seeing the lab in person had made Hiro all but forget about the night before. But then Tadashi had beckoned him aside. 

"C'mon, I want to show you my workspace." He took Hiro by the shoulder and started to steer him away from the others, who were now chatting merrily among themselves. They left the lab and entered a long hallway lined with opaque glass windows and doors. Removed from the room of distractions and alone with his brother once more, the memories came back to Hiro. 

"Where are we going? Somewhere fun?" 

"Not exactly," Tadashi stopped by one of the doors and swiped his school ID over a scanner by the handle. There was a beep and a click, then the door swung open. 

Normally Tadashi would hold doors open and let Hiro pass through first, but this time he pushed inside without a thought, leaving Hiro to follow him. 

The interior was about what Hiro expected. Solid blue walls, a wide window overlooking the campus courtyard and letting in plenty of natural light. A workbench strewn with half-finished robotic joints, tools, and schematics. And on the left wall was a desk with the computer Tadashi had built himself three years earlier. It was clean and much more organized than any workspace Hiro had ever had. 

Tadashi made for the desk and moved his rolling computer chair to the middle of the room, its back facing the door, then strolled over to a large, curious-looking red metal box by the window and grabbed up a folding chair that was leaning against it. He set that up across from the computer chair before sinking into the latter. 

"Close the door, Hiro. And sit." He gestured to the folding chair. "We need to talk."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's there to talk about?" Hiro asked facetiously as he walked from the now-closed door to his chair. He tried to stay calm and keep a neutral, almost bored expression on his face. The words _'We need to talk'_ were almost never good. "Or are you finally gonna admit we fucked last night?"

"I was never denying it in the first place, Hiro, I just thought we should talk about it here. I wanted to show you my lab anyway, and I didn't want us to talk in the same bed we just did it in. Needed a change of scenery."

Tadashi sounded oddly calm. Hiro wasn't entirely sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. But he figured after how scared Tadashi had seemed the night before, after they'd fucked, this was probably an improvement. 

"Okay, 'Dashi. I'm listening. But I'm not totally convinced you don't just have a school kink and wanted to shift the play here," he winked. 

Tadashi shook his head but cracked a grin. "That was almost healthy." 

"Well, I figured I should get the sex jokes out while I still can," Hiro shrugged. 

"While you still can?" Tadashi questioned, leaning forward. 

"Well, knowing you, you're gonna say it was a big mistake and we can't do it ever again and we'd do best to forget it..." Hiro looked down at his shoes to avoid making eye-contact and fidgeted his hands in his lap, thumbs twirling. 

"What? No, that's not... Hiro, I love you! I'm actually here to say the opposite of that!" 

The younger boy looked up, confused hope in his eyes. "Wait, r-really?"

Tadashi nodded. "Yeah! I want to keep things going. We just have to be really careful. We can't tell anyone, okay?" 

Hiro huffed out a relieved chuckle. "Well, that goes without saying! Glad we're on the same page. Now, if that's everything, I wanna go talk to Fred some more. Unless you wanna work a quickie in?" He wiggled his eyebrows. 

"C'mon Hiro, that's barely scratching the surface of everything we have to talk about!" Tadashi sat back, staring his brother down.

"What? Seriously?! What else is there? We like each other, we're not gonna tell anyone. Ta da!" 

Tadashi groaned. "Hiro, you're acting like a child!" 

"For real? I'm 14, 'Dashi. I _am_ a child."

"Usually not mentally," the older boy fired back. Hiro huffed again and crossed his arms. "Fiiiinnnee, what else is there?" 

"Well, to start with... Kissing. The kiss thing. F-from last night, I mean." 

Hiro lifted an eyebrow. "What? I don't like kissing. It feels too much like a relationship."

"Isn't this a relationship, though?" Tadashi pressed. "I mean, if we're going to keep this going... Shouldn't we call it what it is?"

"Umm, I was under the impression that 'this' was a deal," Hiro said. "A deal where you fuck me and I don't go to any more Bot-Fights." 

"Come on, Hiro. I know you're getting to that rebellious age, but you've gotta see more than that."

Hiro bit his lip. In all honesty, Tadashi had made him feel things he'd never expected. Both physically and emotionally. He almost hated to admit it, but after what they had done the previous night he felt much closer to his brother. And they'd already been close to begin with. But that added closeness was what made Hiro return to sleep with his brother after fetching Felix, and it made him re-evaluate his stance here and now. 

"Ask me properly." 

Tadashi blinked several times. "I'm sorry...?"

Hiro rolled his eyes but adopted a playful smile. "I mean I'm starting to like the idea of a real relationship. Honestly, the secret incest thing is kind of a turn on for me, and last night I was kinda pissed at you and told myself, and you, that I didn't want anything formal. Even if it was a secret. But I've cooled down and I really like you, and you've got an amazing body, and we've always been best friends... So ask me out properly."

Tadashi froze up. Despite being the one who wanted to talk things through, despite the two of them having had sex the previous night, and despite having wanted a real relationship for a couple of years now, being told by Hiro to ask him out suddenly felt daunting and embarrassing. His face flushed and he stared at his brother wordlessly.

"Ummm, Tadashi? I'm not gonna lie, it's cute that you went all blushy and quiet, but it'd be nice to get an answer from you."

"S-sorry! It's just... Still pretty weird for me." 

"I'm sure you'll get used to it."

Tadashi took a deep breath and edged his chair closer to Hiro's. He placed a gentle hand on his brother's knee, but paused before he spoke, steeling himself. 

"Hiro... Wanna go steady?"

It took all of Hiro's willpower not to crack up. Of course, his will was helped by a powerful rush of excitement. He nodded quickly and placed a hand on top of Tadashi's. 

"I do! And my first gift to you as your boyfriend is that I'm not going to tease you for saying 'going steady,'" he grinned. Tadashi laughed and started to get out of his chair, leaning forward towards Hiro's face. 

"Woah there!" Hiro pressed his hands into his brother's chest, stopping him. "What's that about?"

Tadashi gaped. "I... I thought... I mean, we just talked about it! I was gonna kiss you, cuz we're dating now, I guess," his ears glowed red and he sat back down, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"We'll kiss, 'Dashi," Hiro assured him, "but I want you to work for it~ at least, for the first one." 

There was silence for a long moment after that. Tadashi seemed to accept this term but was unsure of how to proceed. It was clear that he was itching to discuss something else, his eyes kept darting around the room as if he was searching for an icebreaker. Finally, Hiro cleared his throat. 

"So... Do you feel any different? Now that we're officially-unofficially dating?" 

Tadashi shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, as weird as I felt asking you, the biggest step was last night, when we had sex. Everything kinda takes a backseat to that."

Hiro nodded. "By the way, you were amazing! I mean, I don't have anything to compare it to, and we could probably do it better than that, but I've been dreaming about taking it like that for a while and you were better than anything I'd ever imagined!"

"Th-thanks!" No Tadashi was seriously blushing. "But that's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Hiro's shoulders slumped a little. "Oh... I'm sorry, Tadashi..." His voice went from a little teasing and haughty to depressed fast enough to give someone whiplash. 

"You're sorry? What are you sorry for?" 

"Well, it was my first time. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was supposed to do. Even if I did, I couldn't really focus. Compared to you... I mean, I was just laying there! You did all the wok. I promise I'll do better next time!"

Oh. That was it. Cool as Hiro tried to play it, he had some performance anxiety. 

"Hey, Hiro, you were fantastic!" Tadashi assured him. He moved closer still and tipped his brother's chin up so they looked each other in the eye. "Hell, you were better than fantastic! It might have seemed like I did all the work, but you haas a lot to contribute! I really can't complain about a single thing. My problem isn't with you, it's with me." 

Hiro found himself being warmed by those words up until the end. He frowned, confused. "With you? But 'Dashi, really, you were perfect!"

"I know," Tadashi sighed, taking his hand back. "I know you think that... But what I did last night wasn't how I ever pictured myself having sex. I always wanted to go slow, to be caring and loving about it." 

Tadashi stood quite suddenly, pushing his chair back, and began pacing back and forth in front of Hiro. "I wanted to do it as the beautiful expression of love it's supposed to be. And instead I behaved, well, feral. I mean, what if I'd hurt you, or upset you? I want to tell myself that I would have stopped to make sure you were okay but I honestly don't know if I would have." 

"Hey, hey," Hiro stood as well and hurried up to his brother, hugging his waist comfortingly. "It's okay, 'Dashi. It's okay."

"How?" Tadashi questioned, standing stiffly without hugging Hiro back. "It was so easy for you to make me lose my self-control."

"Tadashi, you're not seeing the good parts of this. I'm okay. I'm better than okay! Like I said, what you did to me last night was incredible! I loved every second of it! And you obviously liked it too. It wasn't about losing control, it was two people who love each other having a blast."

Tadashi stared at Hiro for a moment. "You know... As tactless as you said it, you're right. I just... I'm worried about hurting you, otōto."

Hiro released his brother's waist then took his hand, guiding him back to his seat. "Relax, Tadashi. Maybe you didn't notice but I liked how rough you got. You don't need to worry about hurting me." He crouched down slowly between Tadashi's legs. "But if it makes you feel better, we can do it your way... Next time, Koibito." 

He started to rub at his brother's crotch. 

"H-Hiro!" Tadashi gasped out, his arm stretching out automatically to cup the boy's face. "Hiro, what are you doing!?"

"Just helping you with your school kink," Hiro smirked, rubbing more insistently. 

"Th-that's clearly your kink!" 

Hiro shrugged. "Yours, mine, who cares? I'm gonna make you feel really good again." 

"N-no... Please, Hiro, not here!" Tadashi pleaded. But Hiro could feel him stiffening at his touch under his clothes. He smirked as pressed on. 

"Oh? Why not, big bro?" He started working on unbuttoning Tadashi's jeans. It was difficult with Tadashi sitting, but Hiro knew he would get what he wanted. "Clearly you like it." 

"Hiro, I said no."

"I don't get it," Hiro said, looking up at his brother from between his legs. "Everything I've learned has taught me that guys are addicted to sex. Why are you being a dead end right now?"

Tadashi rolled his eyes. "Really, Hiro? Everything you've learned taught you that? You graduated a few months ago at 13!"

Hiro smirked. "How do you think I graduated?" He mimed giving a blowjob and Tadashi rolled his eyes again.

"Unbelievable. That's not funny, Hiro."

"What's not funny is you won't let me suck you off when you obviously want me to," the boy smirked annoyingly and rubbed more at Tadashi's crotch, where he could feel his brother still stiffening up.

Three sharp knocks at the opaque glass door rang through the room. Hiro gave a terrified yip, looking like a startled cat, and lept away from his brother, knocking into his own folding chair with a loud clang. 

Breathing in sharp, harried pants, Hiro cast his wide eyes to the door, through which he could see the outline of a man. The door swung open and a stocky, kindly-faced man who looked to be in his fifties hurried inside. 

"Is everything alright?" His eyebrows knit together concernedly and his gaze shifted from Tadashi, still sitting and wearing an 'I told you so' look, to Hiro, who was slightly hunched in a protective stance and who felt as if all the hairs on his body were standing on end.

"We're fine, professor," Tadashi swiveled his chair to look at the man, careful to keep his arms crossed over his lap. "We just weren't expecting anyone and you scared my little brother, is all." He chuckled a little, putting on his most charming smile. 

"Oh, I see!" The man's features relaxed. "Your brother, you say? So this is the famed Hamada Bot-Fighter I've been hearing about?"

Slowly regaining his composure, Hiro straightened and tried, uselessly, to pat down his hair. "Umm, hi," he tried rather lamely. "I'm Hiro... Wait, you said you've heard of me?" 

"From your brother," the man amended. "I haven't frequented the fighting pits for nearly 25 years. Not since SFIT came into my life."

Hiro gave the man a closer look, re-evaluating him. 'Stocky' wasn't quite accurate. He had the form of a man who used to exercise regularly but had weaned off. He was dressed like, well, an old professor. Brown slacks, a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up under a brown sweater vest. Not a speck of dust or a stray hair on anything, but it came off charming rather than uptight. 

"You were a bot fighter?" Hiro asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow. 

"Well, less of a fighter, more of a designer," the man chuckled and extended a hand. "I'm the head teacher, professor Robert Callaghan. I teach robotics here." 

Hiro stared at him, dumbfounded, leaving his hand hanging in the air. " _You're_ " Robert Callaghan?! The creator of Callaghan's Law of Robotics?!" 

"The very same," the man smiled. Hiro lurched forward suddenly and grabbed Callaghan's hand, shaking it vigorously. "Oh... Oh man! I can't believe I'm meeting you! It's an absolute honor to meet you! I've used some of my designs for my Bot!" 

"I'd like to see that sometime," Callaghan clasped Hiro by the shoulder. "You seem like a bright young fellow. I assume Tadashi's shown you around our campus here? We're always looking for new minds to teach and mentor here. Your age wouldn't be an issue." 

Hiro gaped at him again as Callaghan released him and straightened up. He started talking to Tadashi about class, apparently Tadashi TAed for him, but Hiro tuned out their conversation. _I could learn from Robert Freaking Callaghan! Every school I've ever gone to has been unbearably boring, but SFIT?! Electromag suspensions and lasers? What else am I missing out on? This is a dream come true! Why didn't tadashi tell me all this before? He always made it seem so boring here._

"I hope to see you around, Hiro," Callaghan said, jerking the boy back to reality. "Hopefully as a student of mine. Here at SFIT, we push the boundaries of robotics. Our graduates go on to shape the world. Remember that, even if you don't apply. Your brother is doing fine work. It was a pleasure meeting you." He shook Hiro's hand again and left. 

Hiro turned, stunned, to face his brother, who was kicked back on his chair, hands behind his head, and smirking. "So, what do you think of the place?"

"I... I **HAVE** to go here!" Hiro ran his hands frantically through his hair. How had he never given SFIT the time of day before now? He'd always just written it off as his brother's nerd school, but now that he was here he could see that it was so much more than that!

"I think," Tadashi said in a victorious voice, "we could make that happen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Inspiration- 'Schism' by TOOL


	5. Sober (Is There Something To Do?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of a two-part chapter... thing. Hiro can't handle his alcohol

Boys night out, in Hiro's opinion, was **not** what it was cracked out to be. When Tadashi had suggested it, Hiro had been immediately excited and on board. He knew it was just a sympathetic distraction. It had been a full two weeks and Hiro had yet to come up with an idea worthy of presenting at the SFIT Showcase. Tadashi had explained the situation to him. He had three more weeks to come up with an invention that would blow Callaghan away, and he would be offered a spot in his school. 

And he had nothing. Zilch. Nada. Sometimes he would just lean forward and see how many times he could bang his head on his desk before he gave himself a headache, because that was more productive than his stupid brain was being. And to make everything worse, the importance of getting into SFIT meant a temporary hold had been placed on Hiro's relationship with Tadashi. 

He knew Tadashi was right. This was important, and for once Hiro actually _wanted_ what his brother and Aunt Cass saw as the right thing. But it was still annoying and frustrating, and the horniness was just building and building inside him. Tadashi had told him he could masturbate any time, but Hiro didn't see any point in it. He'd had a taste of what could be, now his hand just didn't seem satisfactory anymore. He had briefly considered trying to get off right in front of his brother to lure him in, but after their talk in Tadashi's lab the idea felt shallow, something that normally wouldn't have bothered Hiro, but now that they were technically dating he didn't want to push it. 

So the idea of a boys night out was quite welcome. A lovely distraction for a few hours at a Tex-Mex place across town, without Aunt Cass or the worries and stresses of trying to find his project. 

Things started digging under Hiro's skin from the moment they walked in the door. They strode up to a cute brunette waitress whose name tag read 'Beth' and requested a table for six. Beth peered around the hostess booth at him and asked in a honeyed voice "do you need a kid's menu?"

Hiro turned bright red and huffed. He'd stopped using kid's menus when he was 9. Sure, the inner child still loved the crossword puzzles and such, but he had always been mentally older, much older, than other boys his age and he wanted to be treated as such. 

He almost got angry, almost said something snappish, but he caught Tadashi's eye and found himself instantly calming down, thinking clearly. He _was_ only 14, and he looked a good two years younger than that. And this girl was just doing her job. 

"No thank you," he said, trying on a smile. "I'll take the regular menu, please." 

Tadashi gave him an approving nod as they headed for their table. Hiro still felt a little irked, but taking the time to calm down, thanks to a look from his brother, really had helped. He'd started this relationship with his brother because of how fucked up it was, but maybe Tadashi was actually healthy for him? He hoped, though, that things would go smoothly the rest of this boys' night out. 

But it turned out that calling it "boys night" wasn't entirely accurate. Honey Lemon and GoGo arrived with Wasabi and Fred a couple of minutes after Hiro and Tadashi were seated. He groaned a little. He should have realized when Tadashi asked Beth for a table for six, but he'd been too wrapped up in the stupid kid's menu thing to notice the extra seats for Honey and GoGo.

Hiro didn't have anything against them by any means. In fact, he really liked them. But part of the fun promised by a boys night out was a lack of feminine inhibitions holding back potential group mischief. But Hiro figured that with Tadashi and Wasabi there, his and Fred's crazier sides would have been fairly balanced out anyway, so he decided to let it go and have a good time. 

"Hello, Hiro!" Honey Lemon said as she and GoGo slid into the booth next to Tadashi. She sounded her usual chipper self, something they could all always rely on. "How's your project coming? If you need any help we wouldn't mind coming around to your place to lend a hand." 

"Hey, now," Tadashi cut in as Wasabi and Fred took their seats beside Hiro. He threw Hiro a look. "No shop talk tonight, okay? That's the whole point. We're here to help take Hiro's mind off things." 

It took all of Hiro's willpower to not flirtatiously add "show me a good time, then," after what Tadashi said. It was hard to imagine that just a month earlier this wouldn't have been a problem. He wouldn't have even thought to flirt with Tadashi. But now he was constantly horny and aching to flirt. Still, one night should be easy enough to get through, right?

"Then what should we talk about?" GoGo asked, picking up her menu and perusing it without even glancing at the others. 

"Did you see the new Kentucky Kaiju trailer?" Fred asked, somehow holding a thing of tortilla chips already despite their server not having stopped by yet. 

"I haven't even seen the first movie," Hiro told him apologetically. "We don't go to all that many films."

"What?!" Fred slapped his hands on the table and looked at Hiro in vast disbelief from around Wasabi, who leaned back at the intensity. "Are you _serious?!_ you're kidding me, right?" He turned to look at Tadashi for confirmation. He shrugged and Fred sat back slowly, looking shell-shocked. 

Hiro blushed sheepishly. "Sorry, man. We kinda always focused on school and our extracurricular projects." Again he had to resist the urge to flirt across the table, this time through a wink that was just begging to be sent Tadashi's way. 

"Should we leave before Fred explodes?" GoGo joked, still eying her menu. 

"You may laugh, but I see this as an absolute travesty!" Fred replied. "Hiro, we've gotta get you out more."

"I am out!" 

"Yes, but like I said... More." Fred sighed. "Look, little dude, you have no idea what you're missing out on! The movies are great! You get to go spend two hours watching something super fun, and you can just shut your brain down and enjoy."

"Unless you're like him, and are super invested in every movie you ever see," Wasabi jerked a thumb at Fred. "Also, where is our waiter? We've been here for, like, ten minutes already!"

"Five," Fred countered. "And yes, if you're like me it's less relaxation and mindless fun, and more nail-biting and edge-of-your-seat fanboying while in cosplay. But either way, it's a lot of fun. And that's not nearly all! What about the movie popcorn? The only thing you should ever get from a theater besides a ticket." He took a moment in glaze-eyed salivation as he recalled the taste. "All hot and buttery, and they always give you WAY too much... It's perfect! But then there's the joy of sneaking stuff in. Candy, sodas, loaded baked potatoes, beer...."

GoGo looked up from her menu and raised an eyebrow as Honey Lemon gasped. "Loaded baked potatoes? Seriously?" 

Fred opened his mouth to defend himself, but Honey cut across him. 

"BEER?! Um, Fred... You're only 19... How long have you been sneaking beer into movies?"

He shrugged. "Four, maybe four-and-a-half years. But I know what you're thinking. Don't worry. It was always just one beer-"

"-per movie," Tadashi muttered, but Fred continued on. 

"ONE beer, and it's always a light beer. It's just for the experience. Honestly the rest of the snacks I bring in probably have more of a negative impact on me than the beer ever does."

"I'm... Actually inclined I believe that," Wasabi said, looking around the crowded restaurant for a waiter or waitress. 

"Plus, are you guys really going to tell me you've never snuck a beer while underage?" Fred questioned. 

"I have," Tadashi spoke up immediately. 

"You have?" Hiro asked. 

He shrugged again. "Technically. Well, not even technically. I didn't sneak it. Split one with Aunt Cass on New Year's two years ago because we didn't have wine or champagne. You tried to stay up but fell asleep on the couch at 10 O'clock, or you would've seen it."

Fred turned to Honey Lemon. "I know for a fact you have."

"Freddie, that was one time... And accidentally!" 

"Hey, you chugged it pretty fast!" 

"Those tamales were really hot! And I thought it was my drink."

"Wait wait wait, when was this?" Hiro asked. 

"Art festival," Fred supplied unhelpfully before turning to Wasabi. "Your turn, big guy. Fess up!"

"I'm always a designated driver by choice!" He crossed his arms. "And as the oldest one here, I really don't-"

"Okay, I'll tell them," Fred turned back to the group at large. "Two years ago at that party he hosted for Halloween."

"That was a distraction beer!" Wasabi pointed out. "So I wouldn't freak out about things getting messy during the party... Which did not work, I might add!"

"We know," Tadashi chuckled, "that's why the last Halloween parties have been at GoGo's." 

"Which reminds me," Fred turned to GoGo, "how about you? All the rest of us had our stories told." 

She shook her head. "Nope." 

They stared at her. 

"Nope?" Fred pressed. "Like, you won't answer the question..?"

"I mean I've never had a drink and I don't ever plan to." She set down the menu and shrugged while everyone stared at her in disbelief. 

"Look, I know I seem like the most likely of us to have snuck a beer or two, but the truth is I have a seriously addictive personality... It took me forever to quit smoking and I still need nicotine gum to help me with cravings. So when it comes to alcohol, I don't even want to flirt with tempting that demon. Never touching any spirits. That said, I'm fine with anyone else who drinks." 

They were all silent for a moment. It seemed none of them had ever known this about GoGo, save for Honey Lemon, who was still peering curiously at Fred. 

"Okay," Wasabi began, breaking the uncomfortable silence and trying to change the subject. "Seriously, where is our-"

"Could I try it?" Hiro interrupted suddenly. Everyone stared at him. 

"Try it?" Tadashi questioned. 

"Alcohol... Just a little bit."

"Hiro!" Honey Lemon leaned forward, eyes wide behind her glasses. "You're 14! And didn't you hear what GoGo just told us?!"

"Hey, that was mostly about smoking," GoGo said. "I told you I'm fine with other people drinking, it's just not for me." 

"I just want to try it, a little. Promise!" Hiro looked Tadashi in the eye. "Please? You guys tried it. Plus, you said this night was about me, about getting my mind off the impending fact that I'm going to show up to the Showcase with nothing." 

Wasabi cleared his throat. "I just want to point out that I'm the only one who's 21, so if this happens I'll be the one ordering it, despite not drinking myself, which means if we get caught then the sober guy gets busted." He crossed his arms. 

"You won't get caught," Fred assured him. "If anyone notices we'll tell them we only gave him a sip of your drink. People do that all the time and it's fine. Ooh! Or we could flirt our way out of it! I've always wanted to do that in a tough situation."

"Wasabi, no one is going to make you order it," Honey Lemon reached over and placed a hand on the table before him. He raised an eyebrow then sighed resignedly and uncrossed his arms before placing one of his hands atop hers. 

Hiro looked expectantly at his older brother. He hated having to ask him for permission, but they all knew he had authority over Hiro when they were away from Aunt Cass. 

"What do you think?"

Everyone else turned to look at Tadashi as well. He seemed to be mulling it over. "Just one?"

Hiro nodded. 

"And you won't get addicted?"

"Even if he did," GoGo said, "he looks way younger than he is. I'll bet when he's 21 he'll still look 17. There's no way he'd be able to get more drinks after this, especially considering we're the only friends he's got, so who would he even go to for that? And it takes what, 55 days to break a habit? For his first and last drink for a long time, I think he'll be fine."

"Sheesh, you really sweetened that up," Hiro frowned. GoGo shrugged. 

"Hey, it's true and it's helping you get a drink. Can you complain?" 

Tadashi returned the attention to himself and nodded. "Okay then. One beer, Hiro. A small one. And we tell Aunt Cass nothing! When we get home you're going straight up to bed. Deal?"

"Um, no." Hiro told him. Tadashi blinked. 

"I think that's more than fair, what do you have a problem with?"

"Well, I'm not an idiot. We may not go to the movies but I _have_ seen enough old comedy shows to know that beer tastes horrible, especially to kids. It's what, liquid bread and alcohol or something? Gross. You know I like sweets! If you're letting me try alcohol, I want something tasty. Like a strawberry daiquiri!"

Tadashi shrugged. "Alright, that seems fair. I don't think there's much alcohol in those, so it should be fine, right? Wasabi, will you...?"

"Yeah, yeah, alright. But I'm not paying for it." He didn't even look at Tadashi as he answered, instead catching the eye of a waitress and waving her over. It was the same one who had sat Hiro and Tadashi. Beth. She was very apologetic about the wait and kept sneaking glances as Wasabi while they placed their drink orders. 

"Ooohh, interesting!" She remarked with a genuine smile after Wasabi requested Hiro's Daiquiri and a lemonade, handing over his ID. "It's nice to see a man like you who's comfortable ordering a drink like that. Most men seem to feel pressured and ask for something stronger. I like a guy who knows what he wants and doesn't care what people think."

Wasabi laughed a little nervously, too concerned with potentially getting caught to realize she was flirting with him. "W-well, if there's one trait that defines me as a person, it's that I don't care what people think of me!" 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It surprisingly wasn't bad at all. Not that Hiro had expected it to be. Once the waitress left after dropping off their drinks and taking their meal orders, Wasabi slid the pink drink over to Hiro and leaned forward so his body hid the boy from view. 

And it was pretty, too! Pink the shade of a rock star's hair and served in a large curved hurricane glass. A lime slice was worked onto the rim and a truly inordinate amount of whipped cream adorned the top of the drink. Hiro started by scooping off all the whipped cream with a spoon, depositing it directly into his mouth. Sugar was and always would be his top vice, though Tadashi was certainly gaining on it. 

The first slurp through a wide straw was interesting. He'd had virgin daiquiris before and this wasn't all that different. Flavor-wise it was pretty much the same, but with a vague chemically aftertaste. He didn't feel any different. But then, he was only one sip in. 

Aware that the whole group was watching him closely and waiting for a reaction, Hiro smiled and took another drink, then leaned back. 

"It's good! I mean, I don't see what all the fuss is about. Honestly, I'm liking the smoothie part way more than the alcohol part. But it's real good!" He took another drink, this time a bigger one. 

By the time their food arrived Hiro had slurped it down to just the ice dregs. He made sure to slide the glass back in front of Wasabi before the waitress noticed. She took it with a smile as she set down Hiro's food, a simple chicken quesadilla. 

"How was it?" She asked Wasabi as she passed out everyone else's plates. 

"O-oh! Uhh, delicious!" He lied, all wide-eyed and blushing, clearly flustered. She just smiled wider and left to bring Tadashi and GoGo refills on their sodas. 

Hiro was starting to feel it. He felt a little tingly and light-headed, but it wasn't anything worse than when he went a day without sleep. He could still think, so he wasn't worried. It just made him feel somehow slower and lighter simultaneously. 

The feeling grew steadily, however, as Hiro ate his meal, until he was fairly tipsy. He could still think clearly, he just felt a strange fluttering sensation along with a touch of drowsiness. He also found that he felt relaxed and content. More so than he had in the last week for sure. The looming SFIT deadline didn't seem so important and now. 

Tadashi made some small talk with Honey, GoGo, and Wasabi. Something political that Hiro tuned out. He'd never really had any interest in politics. 

And then the waitress brought a second Daiquiri. 

She came with refills for everyone else and set the second drink down in front of Wasabi with a wink. "This one's on me, hon." She placed her hand atop his and squeezed gently before sweeping away to another table. 

"Dude, that waitress has it bad for you!" Fred grinned and elbowed Wasabi playfully in the side. 

"I... I don't know what to do," Wasabi said, staring at the fresh daiquiri. 

"About the girl or the drink?" Tadashi teased. 

"Both!" Wasabi cried, cupping his face in his hands. "I don't drink, and I've always been told to never flirt with women at their jobs, something I always respect..."

"Aww," Honey Lemon smiled. "Wasabi's a good bean! But I think since she started flirting with you first, you can go for it." 

"Not necessarily," GoGo commented as she reached across the table to stab a bit of steaming chicken off Fred's fajita plate. 

"I don't even know her... And would you focus? What am I supposed to do with this?" He gestured to the daiquiri. "If I don't drink it she might be sad, but I don't wanna."

"Plus you're driving us back to our apartment," GoGo said. 

Without thinking, Hiro grabbed the drink and put the straw to his lips, taking a deep sip. 

"Okay, now I'm definitely not touching that," Wasabi said in a somewhat relieved but still disgusted voice. 

"Hiro!" Tadashi snapped in a scolding voice. The boy froze and the straw fell from his lips. 

"Shit... Sorry, 'Dashi! I wasn't thinking. 

"Language! And I'll say! What the heck, man? I said you could have one."

"I'm sorry..." Hiro shrank back a little. "But the first one didn't do anything, really. I mean, I'm a little light-headed, but that's all!" He lied. "And it was really good! And this one was free... And I had a really bad week. And-"

Tadashi waved a silencing hand. "I get it," he sighed. "I just wish you'd listen to me sometimes. You're always doing your own thing. I'll admit, it's cute a lot of the time, but some of the time it makes me worry. Just... Try and finish that before Beth comes back. And please, if she brings any more drinks for Wasabi, let someone else drink it." 

Glad to have gotten off easy, Hiro quickly tried to down the drink. Tadashi resumed his political discussion with the others while Fred used a slice of grilled chicken to give himself a mustache for Honey Lemon's amusement. 

Hiro found his attention waning again. He was maybe halfway through the second daiquiri and was finally willing to admit to himself that he had more of a buzz than expected. He wasn't seeing double or anything, but he was becoming extremely tired and somehow simultaneously overstimulated and jittery. He wanted to move, get out some of this energy so he could go to bed. It was only 8 O'clock and he was usually up until the early hours of the morning, but Hiro felt as though he could sleep for a week... Or play professional football. It was a truly strange feeling. 

He tried to focus on his brother in the hope that Tadashi could ground him. Try as he might, Hiro couldn't get invested in what his bro was saying. Maybe it was the drinks but he couldn't care less about politics right now. Blah blah blah mayor blah blah blah police chief blah blah blah. If he were talking robotics maybe Hiro would be interested? He took another drink. 

But Hiro didn't need words to ground him. He just had to stare. Take in those, frankly, sexy features. His gorgeous and bracing brown almond eyes. They already had smile crinkles around the edges despite Tadashi's youth. His face was handsome in a soft, boyish, kind way. And his lips! They looked _very_ smooth and soft from here, and as Tadashi talked and smiled he showed off perfect teeth. Not that they always were, Hiro still had pictures of his brother in braces saved somewhere. But he found his focus, little as it was, returning to the older boy's lips. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to kiss him after all?

 _They're supposed to be the same color as his penis head... Are they? I can't remember. Why didn't I pay more attention when we fucked? Wait, is that even true, that cocks and lips are the same color? Where did I hear that?_ Hiro gulped. Now he was thinking about his brother's dick at dinner with their friends. Great. 

He took another long drink. 

_I wish he'd let me mess around with him one last, second time before we put everything on hold for the SFIT Showcase. He felt soooo good! Beginner's luck, maybe, but he hit all the right places. I mean, his cock was the perfect size! And I haven't even touched myself once all week..._

Hiro got an idea then. A really, really good idea. It had to be, bad ideas didn't exist anymore. He used one foot to work the shoe off the other, licking his lips as he thought about seducing his brother. He'd successfully done it once before, after all. And when he thought about it, it was pretty unfair of Tadashi to just cut him off of sex like that without one last taste. He was just getting what he was owed, right? 

Hiro sucked down the last of his second strawberry daiquiri for strength and luck, then stretched out a sock-covered foot. 

Tadashi jumped a little and tensed as Hiro's foot made contact with his crotch. 

"You okay there?" GoGo asked, leaning to look at him from across Honey Lemon. Tadashi nodded. 

"Yeah! Uh, I just thought I saw Beth coming back and didn't want us to get caught... It wasn't her, though. Plus, Hiro's already finished the new drink." He used this as an excuse to shoot Hiro a look. It probably translated to 'what the heck are you doing?' but Hiro didn't care. He just gave what he hoped was a mischievous grin in return and started to rub his foot softly on his brother's bulge while the others returned to their food. 

He started with his toes, wriggling them a little. Tadashi's parts responded almost immediately, perking up at the stimulation. The older boy was pink in the face, his jaw clenched. He tried to slap at Hiro's leg under the table, but doing so discreetly so none of the others would notice meant Hiro only received a sharp tap. He grinned to himself and kept going, switching now to using the ball of his foot to rub in circles. 

Only it was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open. Everything was spinning, too. Hiro vaguely recalled that he'd been trying to use Tadashi to focus and ground himself, but now they were both hard and Hiro's vision was going in and out of focus.

_F-fuck... I only had two daiquiris, right?_ the boy thought to himself as he hiccuped and swooned, foot slipping off of Tadashi's crotch.

"Woah, Hiro? You alright?" He couldn't even tell who's voice had spoken. 

"Ohhh crap... I lost my shoe. I'm a lightweight, kareshi," Hiro muttered, staring Tadashi dead in the face before he slumped over asleep onto Wasabi's shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will everything be alright? Find out this Saturday with chapter 6!!
> 
> Chapter Title Inspiration- 'Sober' by TOOL and 'Something To Do?' by Depeche Mode


	6. I Won't Let You Fall Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, I meant to get this up hours ago but stuff got in the way
> 
> Fair warning, this is an unedited draft because technology fucking sucks. Buuuttt it's a 3rd draft so I think it's still pretty good

When Hiro jerked back to consciousness his head was still spinning and he was still exhausted, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before. He sat bolt upright, his heart racing as a sudden delayed chill ran through his system, jolting him. Hiro blinked quickly, trying to get his bearings and focus his blurry eyes. 

He was in his bed upstairs above the Lucky Cat Café, in his and Tadashi's bedroom. The lights were a little too bright for his taste, but they dimmed a little as a shadow moved in front of him. 

"You are in _so_ much trouble, mister!" Came his brother's voice. It was shaking with anger, a fact Hiro probably would've picked up on even in his current state had he not been distracted by the realization that he was covered in cold water. 

"Wh-what in the...?"

It came back to him slowly, what had happened at the Tex-Mex place. 

"Ahhh shit... I'm s-sorry, 'Dashi." Hiro hiccuped and looked into his brother's face as he crawled to the edge of the bed and out of the wet area where Tadashi had thrown the water on him. Hiro sat so his legs hung over the side. 

He was waking up more but he still wasn't quite used to the light, and his head had a consistent thumping thing going on inside it, making him feel lethargic and a little disoriented. Still, he could see Tadashi glaring. Tadashi had only looked at him like this twice before. Once when they were both little kids and Hiro had accidentally smashed his brother's semi-functioning Lego motor, and once two and a half years ago when he'd almost been expelled from school. It was a look that made Hiro want to curl up under a blanket and shiver. 

"Sorry?" Tadashi grit his teeth and crossed his arms. "You're _sorry_? Hiro, I said you could try a drink. Just try it! I trusted you to know your own limits because I thought maybe you'd care enough not to get wasted in public and with our friends!" His voice was quiet, but that somehow made it worse than if Tadashi was yelling. 

"But no. You went and got drunk and knocked yourself out. We had to leave in a hurry. No one finished their food. I had to lie to the employees and say you were a narcoleptic. They probably would have thought we were kidnapping and trafficking you if they hadn't seen you and me walk in together.

"And then I had to sneak you up here past Aunt Cass. I was going to let you sleep it off and talk tomorrow, but you pissed me off, and you started snoring. It's been three hours anyway." 

Hiro stared at his brother silently, a deep sense of shame filling him. Tadashi began pacing, fingers clenching and unclenching. 

"And what even was that foot job thing? We were in public! We were with friends!" Tadashi ran his fingers through his hair, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Then, to make matters worse, you looked me in the eye and called me _'kareshi'_ right in front of the others! Thankfully I'm quick and told them you were just delirious and clearly meant to call me 'Dashi, but I'm still not sure if they bought it. Because you called me your boyfriend right in front of them! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, Tadashi! I really am!" Hiro sniffled, shrinking back and tilting his head down while he gazed up at his older brother. "It won't happen again, I promise!" He felt it in his gut that he was being truthful. Hiro hated this. He never wanted to touch alcohol again! He hadn't meant for all that to happen, he'd only wanted to try it. But it wasn't enough for Tadashi. 

"Oh, I know it won't happen again. I'll see to that. But I want to know why it happened tonight, even just once. What were you thinking?" He repeated. 

"I wasn't thinking at all, at first," Hiro replied truthfully. He had to look away from his brother as he spoke. He could feel tears behind his tired eyes and if he kept looking at Tadashi's disappointed, angry face they would leak out. "I took the second drink because I wasn't thinking. And I kept going because I didn't think there would be enough alcohol in it to do anything. I was wrong. I actually _was_ delirious when I called you my boyfriend, thanks to the alcohol."

"And the footjob?" Tadashi pressed. "Was that just you being delirious and drunk too?"

"Well... Partly. I know it wasn't a good idea now, but at the time... I wasn't thinking straight and I was... I guess I was mad at you. So the alcohol gave me the push I needed to act on it."

Tadashi stopped pacing. Hiro heard him scoff. " _You_ were mad at _me?!_ " he paused for a moment, then spoke softer. "Why? What... What did I do?"

"Well... No..." Hiro shook his head and tried to wipe at his eyes with his jacket sleeve, only to find that Tadashi had stripped him out of his day clothes and dressed him in his pajamas. Under any other circumstance, Hiro would have found this hot, would probably have even fantasized about his brother messing with him while he was asleep. But not now. "It's stupid."

"Hiro... I want to know." Tadashi sat slowly on the bed beside his brother and placed a gentle hand on Hiro's shoulder. 

Hiro sniffled and hiccuped again. "It's just... Well, first, it was supposed to be my night. We were getting together to give me a break from all the SFIT stuff. Inject some play into all my work so I don't become a dull boy. And you guys were talking politics! You know I don't like politics. There was nothing for me to contribute. I didn't have anything to do."

"That's why you did it? Because you were bored?" Tadashi nearly scoffed again. 

"No... There was another reason."

"Alright then, spit it out." 

Hiro took a deep breath then held it as he felt another hiccup welling up. Once it had passed he dove in. 

"It's just that... You cut off sex really abruptly. I mean, one minute you were telling me you wanted to keep dating me and literally the next it was 'temporary relationship hold' until I get accepted to SFIT... If I get accepted. I know it hasn't been very long, but I feel like we should at least have had one more go before coming to a full stop." Hiro turned to look at Tadashi. "I've kinda been thinking that all week, these last two weeks really, but I was keeping it inside. It was the alcohol that made acting on it seem like a good idea."

"Ahh..." Tadashi leaned back, eyeing Hiro as the issue was finally spoken. "I get it."

"Do you?" Hiro asked. "Can you even see my side here?"

Tadashi nodded. "I can, Hiro, believe me. I get insatiably horny too and I was your age not too long ago. I remember what it was like when I felt like I needed something, and I remember when I couldn't hold myself back. Hell, you brought that out in me again recently. I see your side, Hiro. But you've got to also try and see mine. What you're talking about is sex for the sake of sex. 'We might not have it for a while so might as well have it now.'"

"Exactly!" Hiro said. "But... You're saying it like it's a bad thing." He frowned. 

"For some people it's not. For me it is. You remember how much I was beating myself up after our first time? It's just different for me. I'm not just sexually attracted to you, I'm emotionally and romantically attracted to you too. I still think you're really cute and I definitely want to keep doing things with you, but I also want to see you succeed. So when we have sex it'll be meaningful, I hope, and it won't be distracting away from other important things." 

Hiro had known all this already but hearing it still confused him a little. "Tonight though, when you were talking politics... I asked myself if I'd be more invested if you were talking about robotics instead... Why do you even like me?" Hiro felt everything he'd been suppressing well suddenly to the surface, choking him up as the words began to roll through his throat and out of his lips. 

"What if us being brothers and liking robots is all we have in common? And I seduced you first! What if you're just holding onto that feeling, b-but you know it's not real and you're just telling yourself you're waiting to make a connection and have a meaningful moment, but it's never gonna come because we're too different?" 

Hiro began taking sharp breaths as tears started to fall down his face. He didn't even try holding them in anymore. It was too much work while still reeling from the alcohol and expressing his fear. Already he was just short of truly panicking as everything came spilling out. 

"And you're always saying I'm a brat! You're always riding my ass! Why do you like me?"

Tadashi stared at him, then smiled. It made Hiro furious. He'd just spilled all his anxious innermost worries and his brother was smiling?!

"I think we just found out what all of this was really about." Tadashi squeezed his hand on Hiro's knee and looked him in the eye. Hiro swallowed down the urge to say _no shit!_ He let Tadashi talk. 

"I call you a brat because you are a brat, Hiro. But that's just normal rebellious teen stuff. You'll probablygrow out of it. Plus, I think I'm rubbing off on you. Three weeks ago if a waitress had offered you a Kid's menu, you would've sulked all night and been really passive-aggressive. But tonight you swallowed your pride, smiled, and didn't let it get to you." Tadashi ruffled his brother's hair proudly. 

"And I ride your ass because I see your potential. When you put your mind to something, you can create incredible things! Just look at your fighting bot. Undefeated, right? Imagine what you could do if you got off your ass and found a different angle, a different focus for your efforts! I may call you 'genius' to tease you, but you actually are one. You could be the best student SFIT has ever seen if you just applied yourself!"

"The brat and ass-riding part was just an afterthought," Hiro muttered, blushing at the compliment. "I really am worried we don't have enough in common to date, though."

Tadashi wrapped an arm around Hiro, all his earlier anger gone, and pulled the boy close. "Hiro, you have nothing to worry about. You've been my best friend since the day you were born. We used to build Lego sets together and have a blast! Now we build real, lasting things together. Like your laptop, or the café air conditioner. And just think about what we'll be able to make together when you get into SFIT!"

"That still counts as robotics stuff," Hiro sniffed sulkily. 

"Okay, then," Tadashi searched for a good memory. It wasn't hard. "Remember when you were six and mom and dad took us camping? They went on a hike one day and we were supposed to go fishing together, but it was so boring and we were super restless, so you pushed me into the lake and jumped in after me. We spent an hour splashing each other and swimming and having a blast!

"Or how about that time we got together and pranked Aunt Cass on April Fools Day? You had the fantastic idea to run the pickle juice through the strainer to catch the seeds, so it looked just like Mountain Dew, and I had the idea to pour it over ice so it didn't smell as much. She fell for it and we laughed so hard it hurt."

Hiro found himself crying harder as Tadashi talked, because his brother was washing away his fear, making it seem silly. It was a lifted weight that flooded Hiro with love and relief. He buried his face in his brother's chest and let Tadashi wrap him in a tighter hug. 

"You remember how when you were five or six I used to stay up late at night with you, past your bedtime, and read to you? Harry Potter, The Neverending Story, Myth Adventures... You'd rest your head on my shoulder and I'd read until you fell asleep. Then, one night, dad busted us because he saw light from my flashlight under the door. But I convinced him to let us keep doing it because I love spending time with you. You were so happy when I told you we could keep doing it. I think that was the first time I really let myself notice how cute your gap-toothed smile is."

Tadashi started stroking his fingers soothingly down Hiro's spine. He quickly slipped the hand under Hiro's pajama shirt to calm him with skin-on-skin contact. He could feel his words and closeness working, so he pressed on, intent on relieving Hiro's worries entirely before either of them retired to bed. 

"When you were 4 years old you once saw me crying when I got home from school because I'd been bullied, so you called the police and told them 'my big brother is sad. Fix it!' They loved that down at the station, thought it was the most adorable thing. They wanted to send the recording in to the local news, but mom and dad asked them not to. Still, it made me feel better. I have a little brother who was willing to sic the cops on my bullies, what did I have to be upset about?"  
He kissed the top of Hiro's head, beaming, and felt the boy's shudders and shivers subside. He could feel a hot wetness on the front of his shirt from Hiro's tears, but he paid it no mind. 

"You've always been the perfect boy for me, Hiro. I love you so much! And really, that's the only common interest that matters. If we love each other. And we do. We really do."

Hiro lifted his head, eyes red and cheeks tear-streaked. "I love you too, Tadashi. I'm really, really s-sorry. I've been such a jackass to you lately. I don't know what's g-gotten into me."

"I do," Tadashi told him, still smiling as he reached up to wipe a tear from Hiro's cheek. "Teenage hormones, and tonight some alcohol. But like I said, I've been there too. I was like you. I understand."

Hiro wanted to thank his brother again, to tell him he would try and be better from now on. But he was so damn tired! The crying had made his exhaustion even worse. Tadashi could see this in his face and shushed him, pressing their foreheads together. 

"It's alright, Hiro. You can sleep now. You might wake up with a headache but I'll be here to help y-"

Before Tadashi could finish Hiro sat up, pushing himself into his brother's lap. He grabbed hold of Tadashi's shoulders, grounding himself at last, and leaned in to press their lips together in their first kiss. 

Tadashi seemed surprised, stunned even, and didn't move at first. His eyes were fully wide and didn't know what to do. Then instinct took over. His eyelids closed dreamily and his hands, still under Hiro's shirt, pulled him closer still. He kissed the smaller boy back, heart filling as he realized he'd done it! Hiro was kissing him!

As he did so, Hiro scolded himself internally for waiting so long. Why'd he have to be such a prick that night when they'd crossed the line? Sure, he loved it rough and unorthodox, but this was amazing! Their mouths felt perfect like this. Moving together, against one another all soft and a little wet. 

Hiro pressed on Tadashi's chest and he complied wordlessly, lying down on Hiro's bed and pulling his brother firmly atop him. Tadashi felt a cold dampness against his left shoulder, reminding him he'd thrown water to wake Hiro up. He would have to apologize for that later. 

Tadashi's hands roved over Hiro's back, feeling his hot skin. Now that they were finally kissing both brothers wanted more. Hiro rolled his hips a little, rubbing their crotches together, and Tadashi began to hike the smaller teen's pajama shirt up, trying to tug it off. Hiro instantly let go of Tadashi's shoulders and raised his arms over his head so his brother could get the shirt off. 

"'Dashi... Can we go to your bed?" Hiro moaned out, surfacing from the kiss. Tadashi uncharacteristically dropped the teen's shirt in a pile on the floor. 

"Oh, right... This bed is all damp. I'm sorry about that, Hiro." 

Hiro smiled a little and shook his head. "It's okay, but that's not really what I meant. I like your bed, being in it with you. It's warmer and it smells comforting." He blushed shyly at this. 

"Say no more," Tadashi grabbed Hiro by the butt and rose out of the boy's bed. Hiro wrapped his arms around his brother's neck as he walked them around the divider to his part of the bedroom. It was much cleaner here, and the bed was actually made. Tadashi carefully set Hiro down on it, then started to pull off his own shirt. 

"Dashi... Aniki... I can't believe I'm saying this, especially after everything tonight. But I just wanna kiss you, feel you... I wanna be adored."

Tadashi stilled, his shirt half off. Hiro smiled a little, feeling sheepish. 

"I don't mean you should stop getting undressed," the young teen said, lifting his legs and starting to remove his pajama bottoms. Tadashi gulped as Hiro's hips became exposed. "I'm just telling you what I want." 

Tadashi nodded silently and finished removing his shirt. Hiro paused with his pants down just past his knee to stare, all but drooling, at his brother's exposed top half. Because _unholy fuck,_ he looked incredible. Muscular, but not so much that it was a turnoff. It almost made Hiro question his decision to keep things intimate and romantic this time. He truly did ache for some deep sexual healing. But he'd made up his mind. 

The smaller boy shook his head, clearing away his jumbled horny thoughts, then finished stripping just as Tadashi thrust his pajama bottoms off as well. They admired each other for a moment, Hiro lying down with his legs slightly spread so that his brother could see everything there was to see, and Tadashi standing with his cock hard and pointing almost proudly at the bed where Hiro lay. 

Hiro eyed his older brother's cockhead, which was peeking out from its foreskin, then up to Tadashi's lips and smiled to himself. They _were_ the same color. He beckoned with his finger. 

"Everything is still spinning, but when you touched me it went away." 

Tadashi climbed up onto the bed, grinning. "Then I guess I can't ever stop touching you, otōto." He moved between Hiro's legs and took his face in his hands, then pressed the smaller boy down into the bedding. 

"No complaints here," Hiro whispered, wrapping his arms around Tadashi's midriff and pulling the older teen down atop him. Their chests and cocks met, rubbing and gritting together. It made Hiro whimper a little. He hadn't shot a load in two weeks, not counting a wet dream he'd had a few nights prior. But he just didn't have the energy to do anything more than this, and frankly this was already perfect. 

But Tadashi, as much a tender lover as he was a caring brother, noticed the needy sound. "Are you sure you don't want me to take care of that?" He breathed quietly before nibbling on Hiro's right earlobe. "I've never blown anyone before but I'd be happy to try for you."

God, it was a tempting offer! He wanted so badly to spill himself again, especially at 'Dashi's hands. But... "N-no," he shook his head. "I'm still a little out of it. When you make me cum again I don't want to be distracted, and I wanna feel as much as I can." That said, he couldn't stop himself from rolling his hips up to make more friction between their dicks. "Mnnaahh~ j-just kiss me for now, 'Dashi... Please."

The older Hamada smiled with understanding and lifted his head a little so he could stare down at Hiro's flushed, tired features. "In a moment," he promised. "Right now I just wanna look at you... You're so pretty, Hiro. Absolutely stunning!" 

Hiro blushed even darker, eyes starting to fill with tears again, this time of the happy variety. He knew Tadashi's words were bullshit. With his eyes red and swelling from crying earlier, his hair a mess, and his face starting to break out with pubescent acne because he'd missed his nightly beauty regimen, he had to look pretty far from 'stunning.' And yet when he looked in Tadashi's eyes there was no sign of a lie there, white or otherwise. His older brother really did think he looked gorgeous!

Hiro cleared his throat. "L-lights out," he said in a strained, small voice. The room heard him nonetheless and the lights all blinked out, leaving them in darkness. 

"Aww," Tadashi pouted a little. "I was enjoying the view."

"I know, Hiro muttered, closing his eyes and enjoying the serenity. "But the light was giving me a headache, and I'm just beat."

"Hey, that's your fault." Tadashi spoke in a teasing voice, not a hint of anger or maliciousness left. Hiro could tell even with the lights off and his eyes closed that his brother was smirking. 

"Yeah yeah, I know. Would you just shut up and kiss me some more? Please?"

Tadashi did so quite happily, first grabbing Hiro and rolling so they were both on their sides, facing each other. Their lips met again and the sound of their moans filled the room. Hiro pressed his small hands on his brother's chest, rubbing lightly at his nipples and feeling up his pecs. Tadashi, on the other hand, let his free hand roam over his baby brother's body. It rubbed up and down his side, over his back, and briefly even cupped the back of the boy's head to push Hiro's lips more firmly onto his own. Hiro greeted this with an approving moan and renewed hunger in his kissing. 

But Tadashi's hand was always going to end up on Hiro's ass. Being hairless it felt increasingly soft. And the mixture of Hiro's self-indulgent diet and his exercise (if you could call rubbing to and from Bot-Fights that) had left it plump and round and perfect. Tadashi would be endlessly entertained just by squeezing and jiggling it. 

Hiro wasn't sure when he fell asleep. The time they spent making out while Tadashi fondled his ass and rubbed their leaking stiffies together blended blissfully. But eventually the dark comfort of sleep took him, leaving nothing but pleasant feelings. Tadashi followed suit not long after. They didn't even need the covers pulled up. It was a nice late-spring night and their combined body heat was more than enough to keep them warm and comfortable. 

Neither boy dreamed. But a feeling of happiness persisted from the moment they fell asleep to the moment Hiro awoke late next morning. 

Even his pounding headache leftover from the previous night's alcohol couldn't kill his good mood. He was waking up naked in the arms of his brother and lover, who was also naked. And in his slumber, something had clicked, as was want to happen when the subconscious was left to its own devices while faced with a problem. 

The sunlight filling their room was quite unwelcome in Hiro's mildly hungover state, but he was too excited to truly care. He sat up and shook his brother's bare shoulder, grinning. 

"Tadashi! Wake up! I've got it!" 

Tadashi grumbled, showing he was awake, but did not open his eyes. "Wazzat?" 

Hiro leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I figured it out. What I'm gonna do for the SFIT showcase! And it's all thanks to you!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do things between the bros get worse before they get better, or better before they get worse?
> 
> Chapter Title Inspiration- 'The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails


	7. Only When I Lose Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut before the storm
> 
> Google docs is the only spellchecker I have access to during covid and they're being little dicks and keep removing that option. So this is the version that hasn't been run through a spelling/grammar checker. If they put that option back in the app then I'll certainly run this through and update it. For now, fuck you docs 🖕🖕🖕🖕

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did something I don't think I've ever done before with this chapter. I wrote it _after_ I wrote the next chapter. Chapter 8 is mostly complete except for editing, and was supposed to be chapter 7. But it's, well, kinda dark and whump-y Necessarily so, for the sake of plot, but still. 
> 
> I'd finished writing it and realized that it needed something to balance out the darker parts. That led to this purely sexual chapter. There's almost no plot here, and starting out it was going to just be sticky fun. But I wanted this to be different from all my other Hidashi sex scenes. I wanted the bulk to be romantic, though the kink is still very much there. I wanted the sex to be emotional, heartfelt, everything laid bare. The whole premise of Hidashi stems from there being something so special about their relationships that it leads to something beyond friendship, beyond brotherhood. That's on display here.

GSWOL7

Hiro had made his point well. Tadashi was more or less won over on continuing the sexual side of their new relationship through to the SFIT showcase. He knew Hiro's argument hinged on guilt tripping, but honestly he'd been looking for an excuse anyway. Pausing had been the right thing, but they both had needs. As evidenced by the cock he was currently rubbing between his little brother's butt cheeks.

"Mmmnnnn pleeeaaasseeee, 'Dashi!" the boy moaned out grogilly. "Put it in already! It's been _ages!_ I need it!"

That was only semi-true. It had been a week and a half since Hiro's little drinking stunt. Tadashi had dangled sex as an incentive to make Hiro actually work on his idea for the SFIT showcase, but was giving in early because his own will was in shambles. He told Hiro that it was a reward because the boy had actually made a lot of progress, but really it was down to crumbling resolve. 

Still, Hiro had been doing good, hard work for it, and that was something. There were some project-related... hiccups, Hiro knew. But that would be resolved soon, and he wasn't going to let himself feel all of the guilt he already had until after he and Tadashi had their little deaths. He'd earned this. 

But Tadashi just continued to thrust himself back and forth between Hiro's cheeks, smearing lube around and teasing the boy. 

"Not so fast, Hiro! We agreed to do this my way sometimes too, remember? Well, this is one of those times. I'm going at my own pace."

Hiro groaned aloud. "Uuuhhhggg come ooonnnn! Your way is too slow." 

"Relax, you'll still get dicked down. You might even find you like this just as much as the rough-and tumble."

"But I'm already lubed up! You might as well put it in."

Tadashi only smirked. At this point he had to admit he enjoyed finally having some power over his bratty, often smug younger brother. He would play his advantage as much as he liked, until he couldn't deny his lust any more than Hiro could. 

So he held back, staring down at his long shaft hotdogged between Hiro's full cheeks, then slowly tugged it out, making sure Hiro could feel every milimeter slide away. 

"H-hey!" He exclaimed. "What are you doing?!" 

"Whatever I like," Tadashi replied. 

Hiro tried to sit up and turn around so he could confront his brother and make his demands face to face! But the older boy was sitting on his legs, and it only took a hand on the small of his back and some pressure to pin the fourteen-year-old back down on his bed. 

Tadashi slid the hand down Hiro's back then and slipped two fingers between his cheeks without a second thought. They plunged into the prepared hole, squelching a little as lube coated them. Hiro's (admittedly sparse) body hair stood on end and his back arched a little, whines flowing from his lips. He forgot all about trying to sit up. 

"N-no fair! You've already fingered me! Give me the r-real thing!" 

Tadashi curled the fingers, rubbing their tips on the hot, slick inner walls of Hiro's rectum. "Aren't you going to ask nicely?"

In truth, he was breaking too. Hearing those whimpers and feeling the ooey-gooey inside of his brother again had him longing to give in and fuck the boy. But Tadashi held back. He just needed to hold off a little longer so he could keep teasing Hiro. He wanted the boy to be so pent up and ready to burst that when they switched from the teasing, edging foreplay to the sensual and romantic lovemaking Tadashi had wanted to have with Hiro for months and months, Hiro would love it just as much as their no holds barred freeway tussles. 

"You seem to like it," Tadashi mused. "When I press here you go all moan-y!" He rubbed soft little circles on his brother's prostate, making the boy lurch against the bed and spill a broken cry from his lips while his eyes went wide and glassy. 

"Nnnfffggggg aahh-aaaaaaaaaahhh! F-fuck you!" 

"Maybe someday, when you're a little bit bigger," Tadashi winked and eased the pressure. Hiro ignored the jibe. 

"C-come on, Tadashi... You want me too! I've seen you staring while I'm working, r-rubbing yourself. It's been too long for you, too."

He was right, but Tadashi wasn't ready to admit that out loud. That might break the spell. So he attempted a fib instead. 

"I'm older than you, otōto. I've outgrown puberty. I have more self control than you, and I don't have those powerful urges that make you lose control."

Hiro had the nerve to laugh at that. It was shuddering and interspersed with sharp gasps, courtesy of his current position, but it was genuine and full of mirth. 

"S-suuuuureeee! Ha, my ass!" 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tadashi demanded, sliding his fingers free and a little irked his lie was being called out, but still hoping he could defend it. 

"Come on, 'Dashi," Hiro said, turning his face as much as he could to look at his brother from the corner of his eye. "You told me and showed me the exact opposite of that our first time. I may be horned up and s-sometimes irrational, but I'm not stupid and there's n-nothing wrong with my memory!"

He was caught. In hindsight it had been a fairly _obvious_ lie to tell his little brother. Tadashi flushed pink with awkward embarrassment. He'd always associated slipping up from horniness with pubescent boys in their early to mid teens- Hiro's age- and thought himself beyond that. Here he was, however, falling for his hormones a second time. 

One thing was clear, though. It was time to give in. He'd played his little game, messed with his brother some, but Hiro had won out. As much as Tadashi wanted to keep teasing the kid, just a little further, he wanted to fuck him even more badly. Besides, it would be better to take advantage now, before Hiro found out just how much power he held in those perfectly round butt cheeks and realized he could turn the tables and use sex to get what he wanted from his older brother. If he followed that 'two can play' train of thought and teasingly abstained and withheld, Tadashi wasn't sure how long he could last, who would break first. And while Tadashi tried to exemplify healthy and comfortable masculinity, he didn't think he wanted to show himself submissively to Hiro just yet. 

"Alright, you got me," Tadashi slowly slipped his cock back between Hiro's buns and nudged the lithe kid's back door. "And you've earned this. I'm still going at my pace, but I know you'll love it."

"For crying out loud, Tadashi. Come on, already! Just put-!!!" Hiro's mouth stopped working. His words turned into dead air leaving his lungs in a gasp as Tadashi thrust inside. 

He went about halfway in, then worked it a little back and forth, making Hiro's hole adjust to him and open to give proper entry. He wasn't deep enough to trigger that sweet bundle of nerves just yet, but Hiro loved feeling stretched and full regardless. 

Once Tadashi was satisfied with his ability to properly thrust into Hiro, he lowered himself so that he was practically lying on top of him and wrapped his arms with care around his brother's midriff. Tadashi nuzzled his face into the crook of Hiro's neck, planting kisses, and slipped his dick the rest of the way inside. 

Hiro gave a long, content moan as Tadashi _finally_ slid into place inside him. If his brother did right by him and fucked him good & hard, he'd be cumming in no time! His own admittedly much smaller cock was poking into the bedding, and the hard rocking back and forth that should come with a real pounding would generate more than enough friction to help him spill himself in a couple of minutes. 

And yeah, yeah, Tadashi kept **saying** that he was gonna go his own, slow pace to sensually and romantically fuck Hiro, but that was surely just talk. Tadashi would quickly realize that it wasn't enough to sate his needs and pick up the pace, get rougher with it. In Hiro's mind that just had to happen. His way was **much** better. Not that he'd tried any other way before, but after enjoying the rough sex so much he couldn't imagine anything would feel better. 

But Tadashi was taking his sweet time figuring that out. He was moving his hips quite slow and precise. His head was striking true against his little brother's prostate, sure. And it would keep going deeper, sliding on by so that it was actually his shaft stimulating the sweet spot as it rubbed up against it. But it was too slow to make Hiro cum! It was a long delivery of pleasure followed by a long refractory reprieve. 

To Hiro's surprise, he started I really enjoy it! Sure, the hard poundings he preferred to receive were a lot more intense. The pleasure on each thrust would shock through his system, overwhelming him and relieving him of control. But the way 'Dashi was thrusting into him let him experience more of it. Tadashi felt it too! The slowness fleshed out all the feelings, made them last. 

Tadashi compared it to artistry, perhaps a little vainly. Hiro wouldn't have understood, he wasn't exactly artistic, but Tadashi saw it like two artists. One could beat out detailed but still rough sketches in 15 minutes. Normally that wouldn't be anything special, but they were so good at it that it caught attention. 

But the other took much longer. They were more precise and photographic, their skill on display when they completed it, though it took a long while to reach that point. Both held merit, but in different ways. And true to his nature, Hiro didn't typically have the patience to wait for a finished product. He wanted to hurry up and get what he was looking for. He was needy and wanted satisfaction fast. 

But this was Tadashi's night. He held the power and he knew that Hiro would still love the end result. And the younger Hamada was too guilt-ridden about his plans for later that night to be as bratty as he wanted. Just this once. 

Tadashi moved one of the hands that was between Hiro's body and the bedding up. Over the chest, past the neck to caress his cheek, then instructively turned Hiro's face so it went up against Tadashi's. Both of their eyes were closed, it was too dark to make out much this close anyway, but their lips pressed together on the first try. Tadashi kept up his methodic, adoring thrusts deeply in and out while Hiro's thoughts turned to rose-colored static at their kiss. 

Tadashi's hand continued to the back of Hiro's head, and he pushed his fingers through soft, unkempt black locks, pressing their faces onto each other more. His other one drifted down and wrapped around Hiro's member. The hand still had some lube on it from fingering Hiro, making it an excellent receptacle for the teen to thrust into. At least, as much as Tadashi's body atop him would allow him to thrust. 

They were both moaning between every breath, louder than the sounds of their lips moving together or the slow squelching _plap....plap....plap_ of Tadashi's dick sliding in and out of Hiro's asshole. Soon enough Hiro was opening his mouth while they made out and Tadashi was slipping him the tongue. 

And Hiro was starting to forget about wanting it hard and dirty. Sex had only ever made him feel pleasure before, maybe some distracting pain, too. But not emotions. Here and now, Hiro felt close and connected to his older brother. He felt loved and desired. 

And Tadashi was gooooooddddd! Coming into this, the younger Hamada boy had wanted to be held down while his asshole was abused. He'd wanted his older brother to suck and bite bruises onto his skin, maybe even choke him just a little. He'd wanted to be bred, used. And Tadashi still wanted to give him some small taste of that, but only a fraction of it. And this, what was happening now? It was being done _with_ Hiro, not to him. He didn't want it. He simply needed it. This wasn't sex, it was intimacy. 

Hiro had to pull out of the kiss when he started to cry. Really, actually cry. Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes and quickly stained his pillowcase while small shudders moved through his body. Tadashi instantly stopped thrusting. 

"Hiro, what's wrong?" His voice was soft, caring. It was perfect. Any fear that might have tinged it, or raised volume, or franticness would have imploded this entire experience, would have jarred Hiro out of the mood to fuck at all. But Tadashi spoke as if he already knew. 

"I don't know..." Hiro admitted. "I f-feel so happy right now. Why am I crying when I'm this happy?" He hiccuped. "Please... Please k-keep going!" 

"Are you sure?" Tadashi let go of Hiro's cock and sat up a little. "If you want to stop then we'll stop. You don't have to feel bad about that if it's what you want or what you need."

"I d-don't want us to stop," Hiro sniffled. "I just... I want t-to roll over."

Tadashi blinked. "Right, of course! Just give me a second." He started to pull his cock back, sliding it slowly out. 

"W-wait! I didn't want you to pull out! I w-want to do this on my back... looking up at you." 

Tadashi laughed endearingly. "It's one or the other, little genius. You're not a contortionist after all, as fun as that would be. I have to pull out in order to roll you over." 

Hiro breathed deeply a few times, gathering his control enough to stop crying. Tadashi could just make out the boy's shoulder-blades moving with each breath. Then he closed his eyes. 

"Okay. Flip me over."

Tadashi moved quickly, not wanting any of their romance to dissipate, and slid his cock the rest of the way out. He helped his brother roll onto his back (and let his hands wander a bit as he did so). Hiro's eyes opened again and searched for the glint of Tadashi's above him to lock onto. He was smiling still, then lined himself up again and pushed back inside. 

Hiro whined as it happened, and Tadashi grunted. For some reason everything was more sensitive, it felt more intense when he pushed inside Hiro the second time. He let himself go deep, pausing only when their sweat-slicked balls touched. Hiro wrapped his legs around Tadashi's waist to keep him in place. It wasn't entirely necessary, but Tadashi liked the bonus contact. 

He started up the rhythm, going slow on purpose. His hips were rolling back and forth, back and forth. 

"Is this position better?" Tadashi tried to keep his voice soft but it was hard to not grunt while he was penetrating Hiro like this. 

"Y-yeah! Ahhaa!" Hiro gasped prissily. "Th-thank you, Aniki." 

"Just breathe," Tadashi whispered as he delved repeatedly into his brother. "I wanna see what your stamina is like when I'm not pounding you like a toy."

"I don't want to last..." Hiro piped up a little. Not being bratty just now didn't mean he couldn't still voice his desires. "We should have, like, the opposite of a safeword. S-something to tell the other to g-go harder."

Well, okay, he was being a little bratty. He couldn't help it. It was part of him. He was still managing to restrain himself a lot, though that was only because he still felt guilty about his plan for later in the night and because he was actually really liking what Tadashi was doing. Still, he had to poke the ninja. 

Tadashi didn't answer at first, or change the pace of his thrusts. He just leaned in and pressed his lips softly on his brother's jaw. 

"Want to bite it?! Aahhh~" Hiro gasped a little excitedly as he felt the kisses there. Tadashi could feel the movement against his mouth. "M-maybe suck on it and give me a hickey?" 

"I'm not giving you a hickey," Tadashi said. It was impressive that he could speak so evenly while pumping his shaft in and out of Hiro's hole like that. Hiro could discern small trembles at the end regardless. 

"And an unsafeword like that would only work when we're playing it your way. And even then you c-could just say 'harder.'"

"You'll lose control!" Hiro breathed. "Y-you've got to. I know you want to. Kn-know you want me! Maybe tonight, maybe next week... You're gonna lose!" Hiro was aware that technically Tadashi had already won because he was enjoying their slow fucking, but he wasn't about to admit that out loud. 

Tadashi shut Hiro up by leaning down and snatching his lower lip between his teeth. He tugged at it and the boy gasped out submissively. When Tadashi released his lip, Hiro leaned back and blushed shyly up at his brother. 

He'd been briefly distracted from the pleasure seeping through and kissing his insides. Hiro wasn't sure how Tadashi was still keeping his rhythm without tiring. He'd been thrusting in and out for a few minutes now. But all of a sudden the full feeling of it flooded Hiro's system. Maybe he'd been too pent up for too long? He started mewling out and squirming a little, his face reddening. 

Tadashi smiled and thrust a little bit faster as a small reward. "See, I told you you'd like this. Are you getting close?" 

"N-no," Hiro's gasp was filled with frustration. "It t-takes longer like this... Even though I c-can feel it all." 

Tadashi blushed a little. "Oh... Well I'm close." It was annoying to Hiro how much control his brother still had over his own voice, even with the low trembles here and there. But Tadashi kept talking. 

"You know, if you really wanted to hurry up and cum, you could just touch yourself?"

Hiro swore under his breath and chewed on his bottom lip. "O-oh! Right..." 

He'd completely forgotten about that. He wished he'd remembered sooner. But now that Tadashi had reminded him, he didn't want to do it. It was like that with a lot of things. If Hiro was going to clean up and then his brother told him to, he stopped wanting to clean up. Here and now, it felt too weird to touch himself after Tadashi suggested it. It felt like he'd only be doing it because Tadashi said to, and Hiro didn't want his brother to have **that** kind of power over him. It was one thing if Tadashi took what he wanted from Hiro, but another entirely for the boy to fall in line. Guilt of what would come later aside, Hiro wasn't about that. It may have been an irrational and brattish response, but that was Hiro. 

Tadashi saw the defiance swell behind Hiro's eyes, but misinterpreted it for exhaustion. "Want me to take care of it, then?" 

Before Hiro had a chance to reply his brother had sat up more and reached between them with his free hand, which he used to take Hiro's dick again. He jerked it off slowly at first, getting a feel for it, then sped up some so his strokes were in rhythm with his thrusts into his younger brother. 

Hiro slammed his head down into his pillow, tilting his chin up and clenching his eyes closed. He would never get over how good it felt having another person touch him there. 

"Aahhhhhhhhhh, T-Tadaaaasaahhiiiiiii! Yeah, j-just like that!"

The older boy didn't get to fully enjoy Hiro moaning his name like that. His eyes had closed too, and the hand he had around Hiro's cock was starting to shake. 

"I'm so c-close! Just a c-c-couple more... Should I p-pull out?" 

"In me!!!" Hiro demanded. "Don't pull out!" 

Tadashi was glad for the request. His hips seemed to be on autopilot, still thrusting in their rhythm despite his exhausted and suddenly overwhelmed mind. He wasn't sure he could even break the cycle until after he came. 

It happened only a couple of thrusts later. He groaned deeply and rammed his cock in as far as it would go before beginning to unload deep inside his little brother. He could feel thick spurt after thick spurt of his seed shooting from his cockslit, each accompanied by a sense of ecstasy and relief. 

Hiro felt some minor discomfort when Tadashi's full length speared into him, but it was only barely garnering his attention. He needed release too, and Tadashi had stopped both thrusting and stroking him off. He took things into his own hands, figuratively speaking, and thrust quickly into the paw that was still around his member. The extra motion triggered the now extra-sensitive nerves in Tadashi's cock head and made him whine out as though he were the one getting fucked. 

Hiro chased his orgasm before it could shy away, clenching his gut to speed the process, and soon claimed it. His cry was a lot higher and gasping than Tadashi's had been, and he had a lot of spunk to give after more than a week without cumming. Most of the stuff spilled over Tadashi's hand and onto his own belly, but a little from the first shot soared up and spattered onto Tadashi's stomach. 

When they had both emptied themselves, Tadashi pulled out of Hiro's ass and rolled into his back beside the boy, holding his hand aloft. Part of Hiro wished his brother had stayed inside him just a minute longer, but judging by the deep and quick breaths Tadashi was taking, interrupted only by a yawn, it seemed him pulling out when he had was a good thing. Otherwise he probably would have collapsed from tiredness and fallen flat on top of Hiro's body. 

"I think you got more of your cum on me than on yourself," Tadashi noted when he could at last speak, lifting his hand to his face. Hiro heard soft lapping sounds from the dark beside him and flushed deeply when he realized his brother was cleaning the spunk off with his _tongue._

"Well, you left all of yours inside me," Hiro replied reasonably. He rolled and sat up, kicking his legs over the side of his bed. 

"W-w-where are you g-going?" Tadashi yawned deeply, barely staying awake. Hiro envied him. He wished he could go to bed too, especially in his boyfriend's arms. But there were some things he needed to do first. 

"I'm just gonna go clean up a little," he lied, slipping out of the bed. The floorboards were chilly on the bottoms of his feet and the contrast made him realize just how hot he'd been while having sex with Tadashi. 

"I'll be back in a little bit. Go ahead and sleep, Tadashi. You sound exhausted."

"So do you," he told the boy, but he didn't argue. Hiro padded across his side of the room slowly, trying to keep from slipping on the various things strewn across the floor. He stopped in front of his dresser and slid open a drawer. Tadashi probably though he was getting Pajamas, if he even heard the drawer open, but when Hiro reached in he snagged a pair of underwear instead. 

Hiro dressed quietly, opening another couple drawers for shorts, socks, and a t-shirt. He didn't bother to clean out Tadashi's load from inside him as he donned all the clothing, though he knew it was there and could even feel some of it that had dribbled out of him. There was no time even if he wanted to get it out. 

He hesitated for a moment before snatching and slipping into his favorite navy blue jacket from atop the dresser. Sure, he was hot, but he would need the hood tonight. Besides, it was comforting to him. 

Hiro paused for a moment, listening. His brother's breathing was soft and slow, almost indiscernible. But he was definitely asleep. Good. 

Hiro padded in his socks over to his computer table and unplugged his fighting bot and controller. He waited to make sure Tadashi was still sleeping, then shoved them in his pockets, snatched up his wallet, and moved to the nearest window. It was already open. Tadashi hadn't wanted to leave it open while they fucked for fear of someone hearing them go at it, but Hiro had convinced him, saying the heat was already bad enough in their upstairs bedroom without bringing sex into the equation. 

His sneakers were where he'd left them, just under the sill. The kid flipped his hood up, grabbed them, and slunk through the window. 

He paused again on the fire escape and looked back into the dark bedroom he shared with his older brother, his boyfriend. It surprised him that he felt this guilty about sneaking to a Bot-Fight. He hadn't felt any shame or regret for attending any of the previous fights. But now that he and Tadashi were an item and he'd promised his brother he wouldn't go back...

He wished he didn't have to go. He wanted to keep his promise. If Tadashi found out, they might break up! That had been the terms of their initial deal. Tadashi would keep sleeping with him as long as he stayed out of the fighting pits. Not the best foundation for a relationship, certainly not the healthiest, but things had evolved since then. 

But it didn't stop Hiro now. He looked away from the bedroom and took three deep, calming breaths, then clambered down the fire escape and into the San Fransokyo nightlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Inspiration- 'Only When I Lose Myself' by Depeche Mode


	8. Somewhat Damaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a big TW for this chapter. Violence and sexual assault. I told you this fic would be dark compared to my other works. If you ship Hidashi but aren't down for this content then I would suggest trying some of my other Hiro/Tadashi works. My oneshots are all pretty fluffy compared to this. Or if you want chapters, Heart-On is always good. 
> 
> Alternatively, if you really like this fic and want to read past this chapter, but don't want to read the graphic, triggering stuff in this chapter, I'm including a cliff notes TL;DR type summary in the comments for this chapter so you understand what happened and can continue reading when I post chapter 9.

Things had been going so well. For a week and a half Hiro had been working on his project for the SFIT Showcase. Thanks to Tadashi's advice (well, his (justifiably) angry griping) he'd come up with the PERFECT thing that was guaranteed to earn him a spot at the Nerd School: microbots!!

And for the first few days things ran smoothly. The idea flowed and Hiro was nailing the execution! What was more, they'd finally had sex again. Hiro's ass was actually a little sore from it. Less so than usual, Tadashi had gone the slow, loving, and cautious route, but that didn't change the fact that he had a really big dick that stretched Hiro open. 

But the soreness wasn't even really a bad thing. Hiro kind of got off on it. Hell, the cum that was seeping out of him and dampening his underwear was more of an annoyance to him than the bodily discomfort. Part of him wished he'd taken the time to clean himself after Tadashi had unloaded into him not half an hour earlier. But there had been no time or way to do it without keeping his brother up. 

But the gist was, things were going well. Hiro had a smile on his face as he navigated the array of alleys to his destination, even with the guilt that he was out at all rolling in his chest. He was worried too that he would enjoy being back in the Bot-Fighting ring too much. He was only here to fix a problem, but he had quite the addictive personality, and good things never seem to last. 

It was only another week and a half before the Student Showcase. Tadashi had registered Hiro for it already, so there was no backing out. SFIT was notoriously selective. Those who got a first chance rarely got a second one. And Hiro was running out of materials. 

For this to work, he needed 12-15 garbage cans full of the microbots. About 70,000 of them. The good news was that he'd tested the prototypes and had begun to mass produce them with his 3D printer. The bad news was he ran out of money for materials at 7 bins, even though they cost very little to make. 

Now, he could probably still work with just those bots, but Tadashi had engrained a scientist's work ethic in Hiro a long time ago. At least, when it came to experiments and robotics. 

_"If it's something worth building,"_ he'd said, _"something worth attempting at all, then do it right. Don't try to half-ass it just because it's easy, otōto. You'll only be disappointed."_

And while Hiro took that to heart, he still tried to work around his limitations and DIY it as far as he could for a solid two days. Trying your best using what you could had to count for something, right?

But that meant Hiro was up late on his own and early to rise, resulting in a grouchy mood. Finally he had to call off the attempted DIY (which among other things had included dumpster diving and stripping down the garage shelves for their metal). The ratio of work put in to product was way off, not worth the effort. 

But Hiro had a backup plan. One Tadashi would have hated. So Hiro didn't tell him. 

The boy kept his hood as low as he could while still being able to see as he moved through the small gathering of people crowding the dark alley, his destination. He was keeping his eyes peeled for Yama. Getting caught by him at a Bot-Fight, again, was the last thing Hiro needed. 

He didn't see the man anywhere, thankfully. The first match was about to start, and it wasn't like Yama to be late to any match he planned to attend, so Hiro started to relax and approached the center of the alley where the crowd had gathered around a makeshift spray-painted battle ring. The teen gave the crowd a last one-over in search of Yama, then lifted his hood and watched the current fight. 

It was a scorpion-shaped droid versus a full-body spinner. Both were terrible design choices. The scorpion stinger wasn't very precise (they never were), and full body spinners tended to only get two or three hits in before they fell apart. It promised an underwhelming match, and Hiro allowed his mind to wander as he fingered his old reliable battle bot in his hoodie pocket. 

This could only be a one time thing. He had to keep it as boring as possible for himself, lest he get sucked back in. No hustling or drawing things out. No crowd-pleasing moves in the ring that would make them cheer and catcall. He only needed about $300 in addition to the money he'd brought to bet with in order to complete his project, and that was easy winnings for a proper fight. He could **never** tell his brother about this, though. 

Technically speaking, they had dissolved their first deal of regular sex in exchange for Hiro quitting his promising Bot-Fighting career when they'd decided to start a real relationship. But the boy knew his brother wouldn't see it that way, or any way other than wrong if he was discovered. They hadn't verbally ended that deal, after all, and even before they'd struck it Tadashi had hated when Hiro went to fights. 

But this was his last option. Well, one of a few shitty choices. Aunt Cass would have funded him in a heartbeat, that's just the sort of person she was. But they were barely making rent as is, Hiro couldn't ask her for that much money! 

Similarly, Tadashi had told Hiro that Fred was filthy rich. Hiro still wasn't convinced his brother was telling the truth, but even if he was, it just felt too weird asking him for cash. They barely knew each other! 

The weirdest part, though, was that only a few weeks earlier neither of those prospects would have bothered him. He would have asked either Cass or Fred for the money without a second thought. He probably would have vowed to pay Cass back by attending more fights, but not Fred. And he wasn't sure if he'd have been able to pull off the reimbursement.

So here he was, a face in the crowd watching a scorpion fail over and over to sting a disk that had stopped spinning. Time was, Hiro would have openly laughed at their struggles, goading the crowd and fighters, purposely running tensions hot and high so his next opponent would slip up and the audience would be more invested in the fight. Hell, he would have done it just to be a brat even if he wasn't fighting that night!

Hiro stayed silent now. Maybe Tadashi was a good influence as a sexual partner? No, that wasn't it. Not that he wasn't doing Hiro a lot of good, calming, _taming_ him, but this time his "good behavior" was due more to knowing he needed to be in and out fast with his winnings. 

The announcer, a woman with an eyepatch who looked to be in her late 20's, early 30's, called a premature end to the match. Neither participant had done any significant damage, and the crowd was growing restless. 

"Come back when you can put on a _real_ show!" she laughed as the two men picked up their bots and trotted out of the ring with red ears and scowling faces. 

"Alright, who's up next? Any of you have the balls to put your money and your bots on the line?" 

Hiro took a deep breath. This was his moment. He knew he could beat anyone here in a fair match, but it had been quite a few weeks since he'd fought someone, so there was a small nagging little anxious piece of doubt in his mind wondering if anything had changed while he was gone that would make him lose the fight or look like an idiot. 

It turned out he didn't need to worry about that. 

He was just opening his mouth to throw his own name in the hat when someone grabbed him by the hair and yanked him painfully backwards, out of the crowd! He tried to cry out in fear, surprise, and pain, but a large and smelly hand was placed tightly over his mouth to stifle him. 

"Bite me an' I'll make sure to bruise your balls while I get the rest of you, _Zero!_ " a masculine voice growled in his ear. Hiro couldn't help but try and squirm free as he was dragged away from the crowd, but he didn't even try to bite. 

His first thought was that Yama had caught him. _Zero_ was the 'fun' little nickname the gangster always used for him. But this voice was different. More gruff, and without much of an accent. Hiro heard two other sets of footsteps as his attacker dragged him deep down the alley and around a corner. Three people, none of them Yama it seemed, but definitely connected to him. 

The fear set in. Hiro had been taken away from the lights around the Bot-Fighters too quickly to get a good look at his attackers, but he didn't need to see them to know the odds weren't in his favor. 

His breathing became strained and sharp as his throat constricted dryly. Tears pooled automatically in the corners of his eyes. He couldn't think of anything to do. Reflexively, he tried kicking back at the man holding him, but he had next to no muscle mass. His sneaker bounced harmlessly off the man's shin, and all three of them laughed. 

Hiro was thrust forward suddenly, out of his captor's grip. For a second he felt adrenaline pump inside him and thought they had slipped up, that he had an opening. His knees hit the ground and he stumbled to his feet, then turned and tried to flee, his mind on autopilot and barely able to analyze anything his senses told him. 

He ran directly into a brick wall at the alleyway's dead end. The toes of his left foot connected first and he tried to skid to a stop. Momentum, however, dictated that he keep going. His shoulder connected painfully with the hard surface and he went sprawling. 

The three men behind him, blocking any exit, roared with laughter as Hiro fell back in a stunned heap on the uneven asphalt. He tasted blood. The impact had made him bite his own tongue. Hiro felt the sting a few seconds later, and it made the tears fall from his eyes.

"Damn, kid, you're doing our job for us!" snorted one of the attackers, a different one than before. 

"What... What do you want?" Hiro's voice came out in somewhat of a lisp as he tried to talk around his newly injured tongue. 

"That tight end!" Whistled the third man. The second one guffawed appreciatively.

"I thought it was just me!" 

"Hold on, boys," said the first man. His voice made it clear he was grinning. "Settle down. We'd all love a piece, sure. The boy's' a looker! But we'd best keep our bits to ourselves. We're jus' here to teach him a lesson. Don't need no DNA evidence left on him that the new chief Cruz and his piggies could use to track us down, now do we? Though if the kid tries something, I'm more than willing to throw that rule out the window. Jus' give me an excuse."

The other two grumbled but agreed. Hiro shrank back against the dead-end wall and blinked rapidly while trying to regain control of his breathing. If he could only calm down enough to think clearly, come up with a plan to escape... Even with the threat hovering over him, he couldn't sit and do nothing!

_Okay, step one... Keep them talking while I calm down. Better than getting pounded right here!_

"Y-you didn't answer me... What d-do you want from me?" 

The first man took a step forward. "You mean you don't recognize me? Or any of us?" 

Hiro shook his head. Truthfully, he couldn't even focus enough to make them out beyond their shadowy outlines. His head was spinning and there were stars in his eyes. 

"I d-don't. But this... this is about Yama, isn't it? About that last Bot-Fight we had where I, um, b-beat him and got him locked up?" 

"Ding ding ding! Give the boy a lollipop to suck on!"

The third man snorted. "I would but you said we can't mess with 'im."

Everyone ignored the comment. But Hiro finally got an idea. Yama was a crime lord of sorts. He cared about money first and foremost. The boy struggled to his feet. 

"Please, don't hurt me! T-take me to Yama. I can work something out w-with him. I'm good with tech! He could take my bot, or I c-could build h-him a new one, one that will never lose! O-or heists! I could help with a heist! Let me work off my debt to him."

Hiro's speech was rapid-fire and stumbling. His tongue stung when it moved but Hiro didn't care. He was full-on panicking now and could barely breathe enough to keep up with his words. But the first man raised a hand and silenced him. 

"There seems to be a misunderstanding here, little Zero."

Hiro eyed him warily, his brain finally starting to catch up with the information his eyes were relaying. The man wasn't some hulking, muscular, monster of a guy. He just looked like... A person. Strong, yes, but someone you wouldn't pay a second thought to if you passed him on the street. Short brown hair, a little bit of stubble, dark clothes, a middle aged face that looked like it was trying to frown even through his predatory smirk. In Hiro's experience, normal people could be even more dangerous than the abnormal.

"M-misunderstanding?"

The man nodded. "My friends and I may work for Yama, but we're not here, with you, on his behalf."

It took Hiro a moment to understand. "Yama... He didn't send you after me?" 

The third man piped up. "Not this particular time, no." 

"Then w-why?" 

The three exchanged looks. From what Hiro could make out, the other two were as innocuous-looking as the first one. 

"You do realize that it wasn't just Yama who got in trouble with the cops after that stunt you pulled a few weeks back? We were there, too." 

"We had to pay bail out our own pockets," the second one added with a growl. 

"The way we figure it, you owe us... **_restitution_ **." 

Hiro wanted to back up until he was pressed against the wall again, but his feet wouldn't budge! The three men closed in around him. 

"I don't have much, j-just a couple hundred I was going to bet in the match! But I could make you new bots? You'd get a lot of money that way!" 

"We already heard that speech. But see, we were going to take your money and your bot anyway. Mostly, though, we want payback!" 

They moved too quickly for Hiro. His arms were snagged by the other two men, who moved behind Hiro and held him in place as the first blow landed. 

Hiro only felt the impact of the fist at first. It shocked through his whole body and forced the breath out of his lungs. He wheezed and gasped for air, but his throat had become just as uncooperative as his legs. 

It only lasted for a few seconds. His throat opened and he gulped down air like he'd been deprived of it for a full minute or two. And then the pain registered, and his breath was caught again. It was an intense, throbbing ache in the lower left side of his ribs. He could already feel bruising there, but it felt deep. Hiro was no stranger to bruises, but he'd only ever gotten surface ones before. This was something else entirely. Like his bone and muscles were bruising too. 

"Check his pockets." 

The command sounded muffled to Hiro's ears. A second later he felt intrusive hands patting him down. His bot and controller were wrenched from inside his hoodie, and Hiro felt the hands move down his front, squeezing his thighs. Another grabbed his ass. Hiro felt his wallet palmed in his back pocket. 

He hoped as it was removed that would be the end of the groping. But a few seconds later the hand thrust down the back of his shorts. Hiro gasped sharply but couldn't find any words as his cheeks were squeezed through his undies. 

"Damn, the kid has a bubble butt," sneered Number 2. "I mean, you could kinda see it before, but you have to feel this!"

Number 3's hand plunged into Hiro's shorts too, grabbing him rougher. The man chortled with appreciation while he sobbed all raspy. 

"I can't let you two have all the fun!" Number 1 walked up and crouched a little, then thrust his hand in and explored down the front. Hiro yelped as his cock was fondled. The boy started to shiver and closed his eyes in shame. Before now he might have pressed this to his advantage, used their interest to escape. But right now he was just scared and alone, and he wanted Tadashi. 

What was more, this was completely new. He hadn't really considered sex or sexual contact with anyone other than his brother. Honestly, part of that was because he got off on them being related. He was a thrill chaser, after all. The wrongness had led him to that relationship and he'd stayed when he found real love there. He'd never thought about being in a relationship or having relations with anyone else. It just didn't occur to him. And with Tadashi, Hiro had lured him their first time and since then he'd more or less initiated their playing together.

So here and now, with strangers not even bothering with his wants, even actively ignoring them... It was already bad enough without the fact that Tadashi had helped him mature some away from his careless thrill-seeking

And it got worse. Number 1's hand shifted down. It seemed like he was going to cup Hiro's cock and balls in his hand, through his underwear. But his fingertips brushed over a damp spot in the fabric and he froze, then slowly rubbed at the spot. The pressure touched Hiro's wet asshole. 

"What's this, then? It seems like our little Zero here has already been making the rounds!" 

It was Tadashi's cum. Hiro had completely forgotten about it after getting dragged from the fight. It had seeped into his underwear as it leaked from his slightly sore asshole, and now the first man was rubbing his finger on it.

"Tell me, Zero, who were the lucky guys that got a taste of your insides?" 

"G-guys?" Hiro gulped.

"Well, this feels like a decent amount of cum," he shifted Hiro's underwear to the side so he could have proper access to the kid's back door. "And when I press here," he jabbed his finger forward and it pushed a little inside Hiro's hole, making him whine, "it just slides right in. So I'm thinking a few boys got you tonight." He thrust it in and out a little, coating it in Tadashi's seed. 

"F-fuck off!" Hiro glared. "Just because your prick is so tiny it'd take f-four of you to get me like that, doesn't mean everyone else's is." 

The other two whistled as the smirk fell from Number 1's face. He whipped his hand back out from Hiro's shorts and the other two quickly did the same. The man stood up straight, then slapped Hiro backhand across the face. 

Hiro tasted blood again. His head turned to the left so quickly his neck popped. 

"I was going to say that if you gave me and the boys a quick ride we'd let you go without hurting you any more, debt paid," the first man growled. "You're cute enough that I'd risk it, and with spunk already inside you it would be hard to single out our DNA. Plus, I'm guessing you'd keep it to yourself. Wouldn't wand the family knowing you fool around on purpose. 

"But you had to be a disrespectful little bitch. Now I'm back to just wanting to hurt ya. That's okay, sloppy seconds aren't really my thing anyway."

The next punch came from his left hand, right in the jaw. Hiro's teeth clacked painfully together and he dropped. To his surprise, the other two henchmen let him drop, releasing his arms. He found out why a few seconds later as he lay crying on the asphalt when a foot buried itself in his gut. Hiro couldn't even cry out. He suddenly felt nauseous as well as aching. 

Another kick landed in the small of his back before Hiro took a boot heel to the eye socket. Tears flowed down his cheeks but he didn't know if he was just starting to cry or if he had been for a while and was just noticing. The kicks kept coming, more frequently and from all angles. And all Hiro could do was cult up and whimper pathetically in fear and pain. 

At least, until someone stomped on his right wrist. Hiro felt something snap and he let loose with an unearthly shriek of agony as his vision went red. 

He stopped feeling the impacts of his attackers' feet. At first he assumed (in the back part of his mind that wasn't consumed by the pain) that he was just too shocked to feel them anymore. But as the initial seething pain in his wrist faded a little, he realized they'd stopped kicking him altogether. 

_Maybe they're done with me and left?_

Then he heard it. The dull sound of a motor from the opposite end of the alley growing louder and louder, closing in. 

Whatever it was stopped just a couple of yards away. Hiro kept his eyes closed, not even sure he could open them if he tried, and heard footsteps. 

"This doesn't concern you!" Number 1 called. "Get back on that bike thing and leave if you know what's good for you." 

"Get. Away. From. Him."

Hiro's heart soared and he have a croaky sob of relief. That was Tadashi's voice! His brother had come to save him! Again. 

"Wait, I recognize him," mused Number 3. "He's that jackoff who rescued the kid from us last time, with Yama! Led us right into the hands of the police."

Number 1 raised his fists. "In that case, let's give him the same treatment!" 

"I'm not saying it again." Tadashi's voice held a sort of anger Hiro had never heard before. Not even after he'd gotten drunk and ruined their evening with friends. It was focused and intense. It was dangerous. Had Hiro been on the receiving end, he would have felt terrified. 

"Get _the fuck_ away from my brother, you worthless street rats. Or I will _make_ you get away." 

"If you're Zero's big bro, you're probably smart, too," the first man said, advancing. "Try counting. It's three on one. You're the one who needs to get gone, not us!" 

It was a shame Hiro didn't open his eyes (or eye, rather, as his right one was already swelling closed). He missed a show, though it ended fast enough. 

Tadashi ducked Number 1's first punch. He came back up and whipped two small items from his pockets. The first was a portable can of mace like you would keep on a keychain. He directed it right in Number 1's face and let loose. 

Number 1 screamed and fell to his knees, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve to no avail. Tadashi backhanded him harder than Number 1 had done to Hiro earlier. The sound of the impact echoed through the alley. 

Number 2 stepped up next, and knocked the can of mace from Tadashi's hand before he could be sprayed too. Not that Tadashi needed it. He jabbed the older man hard in the neck then slammed a knee into his crotch. The man was too busy choking and gagging to make any more than a squeak and grunt as his legs crossed and tears streaked down his cheeks. 

The third man bellowed out and charged Tadashi. He dropped even quicker than the first two when Tadashi revealed the other item he'd pulled from his pockets to be a taser. He slammed it into the man's stomach where it crackled loudly and lit Tadashi's furious face blue and white. Number 3 dropped, fully unconscious. 

Angry as Tadashi was, he skirted around the three men to make for Hiro. He wanted to wrap him in a tight hug and not let go, but with his brother's injuries in mind, Tadashi kept his hands to himself. Behind him, numbers 1 and 2 were staggering up, still crying. Number 1's eyes were red and puffy, and Number 2 was wincing with every step. Together they scooped up their unconscious third comrade and hobbled piteously away down the alley. 

Tadashi let them get away. He only cared about Hiro. 

"Hey, hey, c-can you hear me?" Tadashi discarded the taser and cupped Hiro's battered and bloody face in his hand and kissed his forehead softly.

"D-Dashi?" Hiro half sobbed and, with some difficulty, pried open his working eye. 

Tadashi stood and hurried back to his electric scooter. Hiro wanted to call after him, get him to stay, but just breathing was giving him sharp, stabbing pains in his chest. 

He watched, vision a little blurry and lacking depth or much definition, as Tadashi hauled a red suitcase-looking thing off the back. He pressed a button on the front and white linings in the case lit up.

"Ow." Tadashi said loudly. Immediately Hiro heard a rushing, air-y sound. The case clicked open and something from inside it began to inflate. Within moments a large marshmallow man was standing next to Tadashi's Vespa. 

"Go help Hiro!" Tadashi called before whipping his phone out of a holder in the front of the scooter and dialing 119. 

"Hello?! I need an ambulance... My brother was badly beaten... We're in an alley behind Nana B's Hair Care!"

Hiro was distracted as the bubbleman obscured his vision. 

"Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

Hiro wasn't sure what was happening, but he was too disoriented to question and decided to just go with it. Well, he tried to. He tried to groan out "eight and a half," a lowball to be honest, but all that left his mouth was a wispy groan. 

"Patient is nonverbal. Initiating scan," said the bubble-thing that Hiro now realized was a robot. After a second it turned to Tadashi, who was giving more information to the emergency operator. 

"Tadashi, I am detecting two fractured ribs, a broken nose, a broken wrist, a minor concussion, a dislocated shoulder, and multiple abrasions."

Tadashi relayed the information to the emergency operator in a heartbroken voice. Hiro heard a siren in the distance. 

"Baymax, help however you can!" He instructed. 

The droid directed a finger at Hiro's face. A hole opened up in it. Before Hiro could try to do anything or attempt to speak again, a sort of mist sprayed out. It was cool and soothing from the instant it touched his skin. The pain faded significantly on the surface. Baymax moved the spray over his bruised arms and chest as well. The boy shivered thankfully. 

His eye started to close. Maybe it was the spray, or maybe his adrenaline was wearing off, but Hiro suddenly felt more exhausted than he'd ever been in his life. He couldn't fight it. He was going under. The last thing he saw before drifting into unconsciousness was a set of flashing lights turning into the alleyway and his big brother waving them frantically their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title Inspiration- 'Somewhat Damaged' by Nine Inch Nails


	9. For Justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vengeful!Tadashi fans will dig these next two chapters

Tadashi wanted to wince at every beep of Hiro's heart monitor. Hell, he wanted to cry at every sound in the hospital room. Hiro's dry, rag-doll rasp, the nervous tap of Aunt Cass' foot on the tiles from the seat beside him, the hiss and drip of the tubes hooked up to Hiro's arm, and the low buzz of the flickering fluorescents overhead. But he held himself strong. He could start on his breakdown later. Cass and Hiro needed him. 

Hiro was black and blue, his skin a testament to the beating he'd received. One eye was swollen shut, his wrist was already wrapped in a cast (and Tadashi could make out hints of a wrap around his ribs outlined under his hospital gown), and his hair was matted and more of a mess than usual. Normally his black tangles looked cute, but here and now it was heart-wrenching to look at. 

Tadashi couldn't believe how perfect things had been just two and a half short hours ago. The naked bliss he'd shared with a perfect, unblemished Hiro. The teasing, the sweat, the body heat. They'd been so exhausted after... If only Hiro had stayed in bed with him. Everything would be alright now. 

But even with all the terrified fury Tadashi held inside at the men who did this to his little brother, he couldn't muster any anger towards Hiro for slipping out to bot fight. Not when he was lying there, broken. Nor could he find any pride in his work with Baymax, who ensured that Hiro's injuries were minimal for the beating he'd received even while the droid was still in beta. Cass had insisted they let the doctors work unimpeded, so Tadashi had put the bubbleman back in his case. 

A knock sounded on the door. The loud tapping jolted Tadashi, who was already hopped up on overpriced energy drinks from the vending machines down the hall. One of Hiro's doctors stepped in. Tadashi didn't even care what she looked like. Just a specialist in a white coat while his little brother was passed out and hurting. 

"We have an update about him," she nodded at Hiro's mechanical bed. "His list of injuries. And... something else." 

Tadashi looked at Cass, whose wide eyes were darting back and forth from Hiro to the doctor. He placed a comforting hand on her knee.

"You keep an eye on Hiro, okay? I'll go talk to his doctor and fill you in after." 

She was a wreck right now. This had been her biggest fear, Hiro inevitably getting hurt while out with the wrong crowd. And doctors were usually blunt. Tadashi wanted to be able to soften any blows for her. 

Cass nodded, and Tadashi stood, motioning for the doctor to talk with him outside. He closed the door as they left and led her down the hall a bit, out of earshot of Aunt Cass. 

"Lay it on me." 

"He probably has a minor concussion, so we'll be monitoring him for the rest of the day for that. We took X-Rays after we confirmed your brother's stability," she told him. "And he's going to be okay. We don't think there's any internal bleeding or ruptures. His ribs have two minor fractures, but they'll heal well and quickly." 

"But... What about his breathing?" Tadashi asked. At this stage, he put more faith in the doctors than in an unfinished Baymax. "It's so r-ragged." 

"His muscles in that area are tight and bruised. Add in broken ribs, and it's difficult for his chest to expand when he breathes in."

"But not enough that he needs a breathing tube?" 

The doctor cocked her head. "Mister Hamada, believe me when I tell you that your brother is going to be okay. He'll make a full recovery, at least physically. But it's going to take a while. The worst is his wrist. It's going to take months for it to heal. 

The fact is, we don't need to keep him through tomorrow night. He needs to be here now, so we can monitor him. But he'll be going home with you before dinner with meds and instructions in how to take care of him. That's how little you need to worry about his physical health here and now. But there are other concerns as well. Big ones."

Tadashi kept quiet, too anxious to know what to say. How could this be getting worse? Hadn't she just said Hiro would be okay? And how was he supposed to not be worried? 

"This will be uncomfortable, but you need to be informed." The doctor took a breath. "When we were examining him, we discovered that he had engaged in anal sex, our estimate is at most an hour before being picked up."

Tadashi took a step back in terror, throat seizing up from shock. _They know! Hiro said he was cleaning up... I should have thought of it, when I woke up and found him gone, that he hadn't actually cleaned up._

"Why.... Um..."

"It's a state ordinance now, passed last month. Youth under sixteen like he is are automatically tested with a rape kit without their or their guardian's approval. Because sometimes it was the guardian, and the kids are too afraid to say. We've collected the samples, they're in our lab." 

"So… you know who h-he, um, who he had sex w-with?" He could hear his heart pounding, could feel it threatening to beat too hard, too fast. 

"No, not yet. This is still so new, we aren't set up for it yet. Someone from the county hospital will be here in about five hours to do the test." 

"I… thank you for telling me."

She grabbed his arm. "I know it's a lot to take in. But this could help us find the men who did this to your brother. You should go be with him. This will be traumatizing for him, but I can tell how close you are to him. He'll need you to help him through this. I'm afraid I have other patients to get to for now." 

She paused, letting go, and peered over his shoulder. "But here comes your mom, anyway."

Tadashi turned to see Cass hurrying over from Hiro's room. "Oh, she's my aunt, actually." 

He turned back, but the doctor was already halfway to the nurses' station. 

"Tadashi!" Cass reached him. "What did she tell you?" 

Tadashi tried not to let the anxiety take hold. It was over. By this time tomorrow, Cass would know about him and Hiro. And even though it was consensual between them, he was sure she wouldn't be okay with it. His biggest fear was that she would kick him out and not let him see his brother again. What if Hiro grew up and decided he didn't like Tadashi anymore? What if, even though he'd come onto Tadashi almost every time, including the first, Cass drilled it into his brain that it was his older brother's fault? What if when he turned 18, he didn't want to see Tadashi at all? He could survive the loss of his friends and station. But he couldn't bear to lose his otōto. 

So he kept the part about the rape kit to himself. Instead he relayed everything else the doctor had told him, starting with the doc's emphasis on Hiro's assured physical recovery. It was a desperate stay of the truth at most, but Cass was already enough of a mess and he wanted what little time he'd have left with his brother. 

"Why'd you come out here to ask me that? I was going to fill you in when I got back to the room." Tadashi put on a stoic face. He couldn't let her know anything was wrong. 

"Hiro's awake. You needed to know." 

The shielded face instantly slipped away. So much for that. 

"Hiro's awake?!" He grabbed her elbows, eyes wide. "You should have led with that!" 

Tadashi bolted back down the hall, skidding into Hiro's room. His brother was indeed awake, one eye open. It darted onto Tadashi, fearfully drawn to the movement. Hiro flinched away, jolted and reactionary, before he realized it was only Tadashi. It already broke the older boy's heart to see Hiro scared, afraid he was going to be hurt again. But Tadashi felt all the worse when the flinch made Hiro gasp out in pain. Tears streaked out of his working eye, the movement having jostled his broken ribs. He tried and failed to fight down a sob. 

"Hey, it's me, shhh, it's me... I'm sorry, Hiro, I didn't mean to scare you." Tadashi held up both hands and approached the bed. 

"It... It's okay," Hiro croaked. He squinted, then closed his eye, forcing out one last tear. "The l-light is too bright. It's making me feel..." He stammered, searching for the right word. 

"Dizzy? Sick?" Tadashi turned towards the door just as Cass stepped back in. She took one look at Hiro's closed eyes and tear-streaked cheek and shut off the light. 

"Both," Hiro affirmed, then opened his eye again. Tadashi and Aunt Cass both stood at the left side of his bed, where he could see them without having to turn his head. 

"Thank you."

Cass reached over to take his uninjured hand. Tadashi felt a small pang; he'd been about to do the same. 

"Hiro, why were you out?" She asked. "I'm not mad, I just... I thought we'd gotten through to you about this!" 

Tadashi almost shot her a look. The last thing Hiro needed was to feel guilty right now. But he was curious too. 

"Robot f-fight." 

Tadashi raised an eyebrow. He knew those pathetic lowlife men that had done this to Hiro were in Yama's gang; one of them had mentioned Tadashi being the one who showed up to save Hiro the last time he'd gone to a fight. But he hadn't seen Hiro's bot or controller, or any other people. 

"Why?" He asked his brother. "I thought we'd made a deal?" 

Hiro smiled sourly, though he could only hold his facial muscles like that for a couple of seconds. "I didn't want t-to go, 'Dashi. But I n-needed the... the... The money. For that uhh, the... the school thing." 

"The SFIT showcase?" 

"Yeah. I needed m-more materials to print microbots. Couldn't afford them. I guess I'm not g-getting in anyway, now. I'm sorry." 

"Hiro, honey... I would have paid anything, _anything,_ for your education!" Cass sniffled.

"I know... That's why I had to s-sneak out. We don't have enough to s-spare."

It was true, but the words hit deep. They'd been smart and lucky enough that they wouldn't need to pay tuition. At least, Hiro had been well on his way to joining Tadashi there. But Cass was still the only one that worked, and they had a big city property with a lot of upkeep and utilities that even Tadashi's solar panels couldn't fully offset. Hiro was right to not want to strain their wallets more, but it hurt to hear him say it. Especially when this was the result. 

"C-can I talk to 'Dashi alone?" Hiro asked. 

Cass opened and closed her mouth a few times before answering. She didn't want to miss out on Hiro being conscious, but in the end couldn't deny her hurt boy a request. 

"Sure. Tadashi, I'll go and get us something to drink." She let go of Hiro's hand and patted Tadashi on the back. 

Tadashi closed the door after she left and fought the urge to hurry back over to Hiro. He strolled instead so he wouldn't scare the kid again. 

"It's not as bad as it feels," Tadashi told his brother. He was half trying to convince himself. "They're letting you come home today. It'll be hours until then, but still. Then you'll have me to take care of you."

"Good. I hate it here. Not that I'm n-not glad you brought me. But it's too light… bright, too smelly, too everything. How'd you find me, anyway? And what was th-that mar... um... Marshmallow? The bubble thing?"

Hiro's voice was so quiet. He was terrified of speaking too lightly, breathing too much. 

"That was Baymax, a project I've been working on. He's sort of a nurse droid. And I might have, um, sewn trackers into your clothes." Tadashi flushed a little at the admission. 

"I knew it!" Hiro groaned. 

_You have to tell him. Cass is one thing, but Hiro's the one it all happened to. He deserves to know this might be the last time we see each other._

Tadashi wanted to curse these intrusive thoughts. He deserved five minutes with Hiro that were as close to normal as they could get when Hiro was wearing that hospital gown. He opened his mouth, planning to spit it all out before he could stop himself. But his brother beat him to it. 

"Um… sp-speaking of trackers… there's a w-way to find them." 

Tadashi blinked, confused. 

"Find what?" 

"The men who put me here."

Chills flowed up and down Tadashi's spine. 

"How?! Should we call the police and tell them? They'll probably be by later to talk to you now you're awake anyway." Tadashi grabbed Hiro's uninjured hand and squeezed, eyes going wide. _We can make those fuckers pay…_

"There's an app… on my computer." Hiro hissed as he took too large a breath and fresh anger filled Tadashi."It tracks m-my bot. It'll lead you right to them. **Not** the cops."

Tadashi shook his head. "Me? I don't… Hiro, if we tell the authorities then we can get you justice!"

"No. I w-want you to do it." Hiro looked his brother in the eye. "It has to be you." He tightened his grip on his brother's hand. 

"Why?" 

"I'm not an idiot, T-Tadashi. I hate politics, b-but I keep up with our sex laws now. They've taken your s-samples from me already, haven't they?" 

Tadashi gulped, heart rate jumping, and gave a jerky nod of confirmation. 

"Find them, 'Dashi. Find them a-and get new samples for them to test." 

Tadashi didn't know what to say. He was furious at those men. He wanted to hurt them more for daring to lay a finger on Hiro. But… 

"Hiro, I don't know how that will help. How I'm I supposed to get the samples? How am I supposed to switch them with mine before the analyst comes to test them?"

"Figure it out!" Hiro snapped, then whimpered in further pain. "L-look, you're a genius t-too. You can think of s-somthing." 

"Otōto, I just don't think it's possible…"

"Don't you want to clear your name?"

Tadashi's lips trembled. He felt a sudden viscous wave of tears well behind his eyes as well. This was getting to be too much for him to push back. 

"Of course I do! You mean everything to me. I want to do it, Hiro. But for you, not for me. Except I... I've already hurt them. They deserve to pay, but if I let myself at them I'm not sure I'd know when to stop."

"Then don't stop." 

It was odd how much one simple sentence could shock Tadashi. His eyebrows knit together and he licked his lips nervously. 

"You don't mean that, Hiro. You're angry now, I am too, but once you're healed you'll see that framing men for a crime they didn't-"

"They molested me, Tadashi!" 

How Hiro could convey so much hurt and anger with just one eye, Tadashi would never know. Maybe it was just the contrast from what he was used to? Hiro's eyes were usually lit with mischief and excitement... And attitude. But now his visible one was shadowed, depleted. 

It worked. Tadashi's looks of incredulous shock and heartbreak slipped away, replaced with a one of dead set understanding. He took his hand back and nodded once. 

"You'll d-do it?" Hiro asked. "I know I liked it when you did it to me, but... They're not you. The finger... It f-felt so wrong ins-side me!" His voice broke and the first tears of the night that weren't from his injuries rolled down his cheeks. 

"I'll do it. I swear." 

Tadashi was clenching his jaw tightly when he heard movement behind himself. 

"You'll do what?"

He turned and saw Aunt Cass, two energy drinks in hand. She held one out to Tadashi, then took her place at Hiro's side. 

"He said he'd c-call the SFIT group to come visit me today b-before the hospital releases me." Hiro attempted a smile but ended up grimacing. "Fred and H-Honey Lemon and them."

Tadashi popped the lid of his energy drink and threw his head back, downing the whole thing in a few deep gulps. He crushed the can in his fist and discarded it. 

"I have to go. Watch Hiro while I'm gone." He turned to leave. 

"What? Where are you going?!" Cass called. 

"To fix this." 

\---------------------  
\---------------------

Cold fury fueled Tadashi as he stepped into the bedroom he shared with his little brother. He tried fruitlessly to ignore the bed they'd shared only a few hours earlier on his way to Hiro's desk. If only they were still in it. Those strewn and messy covers could have been wrapped around them while they were wrapped around each other. They could have been happy and snug right this moment. 

Tadashi sat at Hiro's desk and plugged in his phone. The larger screen blinked to life and he began searching. He checked in the 'apps' folder first. It wasn't there, of course. It took him five more minutes to search, seeing a lot more porn than he'd seen in the last two years combined in Hiro's various hiding places, before he found the tracker app tucked away in an innocuous folder. 

He clicked it on, and a localized map appeared. A 25 by 25 blocks square. Two dots showed up on the screen. A green one over the Hamada residence, and a yellow one in the upper mid-right corner. Tadashi's eyes narrowed. 

_A building on Good Luck Alley. I should have known. Yama is a creature of habit._

He dragged and dropped the app onto his phone in case whoever had it was on the move. Tadashi took the time while everything transferred to change into black clothing. 

The phone dinged a successful transfer and was quickly slid into Tadashi's back pocket. He then strode back across the room to his side, and dropped down to rummage around for his baseball bat. It had been a while since he'd used it, but the grip felt familiar. If he'd had it earlier, those men who hurt Hiro would be in custody right now. The only reason he'd let them go in the first place was because Hiro was the priority. 

He started to leave the room, but stopped himself when the logical part of his brain whispered to his anger. What was he thinking? A single _baseball bat_ to protect him from a crime lord's den!? Besides, he needed the henchmen conscious, at least at first. Why use the bat when there was a much more effective and elegant solution? 

He leaned the bat against the wall in the nearest corner, then headed down the stairs, making for the garage. On his way down, he paused to lift a decorative festival mask from the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this! The next hidashi post will be a long overdo update of Even Deeper!
> 
> Ch title inspiration: 'For Justice' by Zardonic
> 
> "We're coming back for you"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm now a member of SCAR! They seem like a really good organization for more taboo fic writers here on AO3. And a great support system for the writing process  
> https://tiny.cc/NI0W4
> 
> Work Title Inspiration- 'The Great Shipwreck of Life' by IAMX


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